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'Hollywood Exes' recap: Not everyone can be your boo boo kitty

Season 3 | Episode 7 | Aired June 25, 2014

LadiesontheInternetWe find the ladies of Hollywood Exes right where we left them two weeks ago: in Hawaii, nursing hangovers, and giving Sheree the business  about her boozy shenanigans of the night before. This week, however, Drea arrives, and the girl talk stops being fun and harmless and devolves into a nasty round of who-hates-Jessica-more.

The episode picks up the morning after Sheree’s drunken antics, and the ladies aren’t letting her off the hook.  She takes the teasing like a champ, and recovers like a soldier. As the ladies are set to leave for an ATV adventure, Drea shows up, having finally arrived after missing her plane. As soon as she is through the door, however, the ladies are off to an ATV park, where they get mud in their weaves and in their teeth.

On the bus ride to the park, the ladies indulge in a little sexy talk: Mayte confesses she hasn’t had sex in eight weeks, and Nicole admits to being in her sexual prime. Sheree, on the other hand, isn’t as excited at the spicy talk and confides that her sex life isn’t much to talk about, since she and Terrell been married for 11 years. She gets lots of good advice about how to keep it interesting: role playing, lingerie under a trench coat, even a red wig. The more I get to know Sheree, the more I like her.

H Drive Access (Faculty)Once they arrive at the dirt park, the ladies are in good spirits, but the first round of Jessica-bashing continues from the bus. Shanna leads the charge, referring to Jessica as the “donkey” they left in L.A. They get a good laugh, but Nicole is starting to feel uncomfortable, and I’m starting to feel a little less sympathetic to their cause — “mean” is not a good look for the exes.

The ladies pair up in their vehicles — Nicole and Sheree, Shanna and Mayte, and Shamicka and Drea — and hit the trail. Nicole drives their ATV like Grand Theft Auto and has no fear, needing all the “traveling mercies” for which Sheree prayed before they got in. Shanna and Mayte tried to hold their own, but Nicole wasn’t showing any restraint, leaving Shamicka and Drea far in her dust so they could “drive Miss Daisy” around the dirt course.

After cleaning the dirt out their teeth and weaves, the ladies head to dinner, where the evening starts out nice enough,ladiesatdinner_JessicaBash but turns into another round of I-hate-Jessica. Drea says some things that could be considered racially insensitive and some things that are definitely considered insulting, specifically, suggesting that if Jessica was a lollipop she might be “black d*ck–flavored.” You, me and the rest of America are squirming right along with Nicole and Sheree as it gets increasingly more uncomfortable. Nicole is a good friend to Jessica (well, in her interviews, she always defends her), yet she hasn’t quite figured out how to exist in both camps, and the other women don’t seem to care that she has a hard time with their mean comments about Jessica.

paddleBoardYoga2The exes spend the next day on the beach — it’s a tough life these ladies live. In the morning, they do a little paddleboard yoga — except for Drea, who is phobic about deep water, and Sheree, who opts out to support Drea in her fears. Nicole and Sheree have the first of several heart-to-hearts, as Nicole pulls her aside to talk about the building tension surrounding all the ugly talk about Jessica. Nicole sees an ally in Sheree, but I’m not entirely convinced. Sheree agrees with Nicole while she’s face-to-face with her, but her interview reveals a different opinion.

Next in the heart-to-heart queue are Drea and Sheree, where ShereeNicole_Sheree confides in Drea about her impending decision to step down from the women’s ministry in her church. This is a far bigger deal than it seems, and Sheree implies that this could have a negative impact on her marriage. Not that I wish any harm on Sheree’s marriage, but it sure would be nice for her to have some drama of her own. I’m sure her feet are tired from running to tell everyone else’s business all the time.

The last of the heart-to-hearts occurs between Shamicka and Nicole once they are back at the house. But this conversation is more aptly named “heart-to-palm,” because Shamicka is not entertaining any sympathies for Jessica. She claims there are no circumstances under which she would forgive her, and I tend to believe her. She doesn’t even relent when Nicole explains her discomfort at their comments. Shamicka has her heels dug in.

Dinner rolls around. The tensions have eased, and the ladies enjoy a fun and rowdy dinner with a spirited, lesbian version of “marry, kill, sleep with.” The ladies let loose and have fun together in a way they haven’t in a while. It was fun to watch, and seeing them get along so well reminds me of why I started watching this show.

GoldenShowersAnd then I am quickly reminded why I watch so much of this show while shaking my head. The episode ends with another dinner in which Hiram cooks, but it doesn’t end with any of the girls stumbling off to fall asleep propped against the toilet. This time, Nicole suggests they play “Truth or Dare.” This seems harmless enough, until Shanna asks Drea to reveal a truth about her past sexual experiences, and this strikes a nerve with Drea. The question Shanna asks alludes to a Dave Chapelle skit that parodied R. Kelly’s legal troubles, and brings the dinner to a screeching halt.

Drea leaves the table in tears and shuts herself in her room. In an emotional interview, she talks about the pain andSurprised trouble she faces as a result of her ex’s sexual and legal exploits. As the Hollywood ex with the most notorious husband, I feel a smidge sorry for Drea. She just can’t seem to get out from under this shadow, and she seems the most haunted. But frankly, I am a little weary of all the baggage. She is about to marry someone else, for Pete’s sake.

What do you think? Is Drea too connected to her past? Do you think the ladies are being unfair to Jessica? What about Nicole? Are Drea’s comments racist too? Tweet me your thoughts … there is so much to work out before next week’s finale.

Hollywood Exes airs Wednesdays at 9/8 C on VH1.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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