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'Graceland' recap: Keeping it together

Season 2 | Episode 3 | “Tinker Bell” | Aired June 25, 2014

Graceland continues to develop the individual housemates’ plots in “Tinker Bell.” Jakes’, Paige’s and Johnny’s stories all pick up. After you’ve been kicked to the curb by your baby mama and told you can never see your kid again, the logical thing to do is to get drunk and headbutt your friends. Well, at least, that’s the logical course of action for Jakes. Jakes gets back to Graceland in quite the state. He wakes everyone up as he attempts to break into his room, which is now occupied by Zelanski. After headbutting Johnny and causing a general ruckus, Jakes is escorted downstairs to sober up.

Mike is nowhere to be found during the incident, but as soon as everyone is downstairs, he sneaks out of Paige’s room and heads down to see what the problem is. It’s time for Mike to put his bossy pants on and decide who stays in the house now that they’re one roommate above the limit. Initially he goes with Zelanski and relegates Jake to sleeping in the equipment room. Mike gives a good show of shying away from his new role as head honcho, but in reality, he’s definitely enjoying his little power trip.

Graceland - Season 2
With Charlie too nervous to make contact with Carlito (Erik Valdez), Johnny steps up to the plate with a cockamamie story about some antique French-Mexican weapons. Turns out that Crazy Carlito really enjoys Mexican antiques. Johnny sets up a meet through Crazy Carlito’s bodyguard, Esteban (G-Rod). Zelanski has secured some antiques for Johnny, but they are French, not Mexican, leading Johnny to create his long story about Napoleon’s cousin. Johnny’s knowledge of Napoleonic history is far more impressive then any antique weapons could ever be. Upon arriving at Carlito’s, Johnny is immediately confronted by Carlito’s sister, Lucia (Jamie Gray Hyder), who is not happy to see a new face in her house.

After all the Carlito build-up, we finally get to see the man in action, and he really is just as crazy as Mike said. Johnny tells Carlito the story about the weapons, but Carlito isn’t buying it and challenges Johnny to an old-school duel in his living room. Knowing that calling in the FBI team would shut down the entire mission, Johnny plays along with the duel with no plan on how to get out of it.

Luckily, Lucia bursts in at pace seven and puts an end to it. Carlito killing a stranger in her living room is too much for Lucia — plus it would ruin the carpet. Johnny is safe for now, but in a lapse of judgement, Esteban chuckles at Carlito’s expense and gets an 18th-century bullet to the neck. If Carlito is willing to shoot a bodyguard whom he has known for years, we don’t want to imagine what he would do to Johnny if he discovers Johnny is a fed. The distraction of Esteban bleeding out on the floor somehow leads Carlito to decide Johnny is OK. With his cover securely established, Johnny gets the hell out of there and throws his watch transmitter at Mike. The entire case now hinges on Johnny’s cover, so this is definitely not the last time we’ll see Johnny in a pickle.

Graceland - Season 2

Paige suggests using one of her coke contacts, Lil Top, to find out when his next shipment is coming in. As a Solano dealer, Lil Top’s cocaine may be coming from Mike’s buses. In an effort to speed things up, Mike sends Briggs to act as Paige’s Dominican sugar daddy and press Lil Top to sell more than he can handle. As Paul tells Mike, though, coke dealers do not like change. Top flips out and stabs Paige when she and Briggs ask for a massive quantity of cocaine. Luckily, Briggs passes Top’s Dominican Republic geography quiz and lets Paige and Briggs go, telling them that his next shipment will be on Sunday.

Mike is on the phone with Jessica discussing his personnel issue when a bleeding Paige walks in. Seriously, Jessica has magical powers and is somehow always on the phone when Paige appears. A bloodied-up Paige lets Mike know when the shipment is coming in. Mike immediately goes to check the bus schedule, but Paige reminds him that buses don’t run that late. You know what that means — more sexy times!

To keep the customs agency happy, Mike decides to keep Jakes over Zelanski despite Jakes’ obvious drinking problem. With these busses carrying God knows what up from Mexico, it makes sense that Mike may need ICE’s (U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement, for those of you who thought Mike was talking about the ice machine on his fridge) help down the line. In his drunk and disorderly state, Jakes is tasked with watching hours and hours of bus-stop footage. He doesn’t find any outliers, but he does find Tinker Bell.

Several pretty young girls with the same exact backpack have been coming through the bus terminal. Mike and Paige assume that the girls are drug mules, but Jakes makes a good point. You don’t use ass like that to haul the product; “ass like that is the product.” Seems like Mike’s bus theory may be much more complicated than he originally thought. It’s stake-out time, and Paige and a less-than-happy Jakes are on the buses. From VHS tapes of buses to real-life bus-watching, Jakes’ day is looking up.

Graceland - Season 2

When Paige spots a Tinker Bell, she rushes out to talk to her. The girl is Ukrainian and doesn’t really have an idea of what is going on. Some guys gave her a bus ticket and told her to go to Sylmar. She also swallowed some drug balloons. Instead of taking her in, Paige sticks a cell phone on her and sends her to Sylmar. Jakes and Paige follow the bus Tinker Bell got off to a warehouse. There’s no scheduled maintenance on the bus, so the warehouse is definitely connected to the drugs. Paige then heads to Sylmar to try to find her Tinker Bell, but only finds the phone and the backpack in a trash can.

Only three episodes in, and we’re deep into the season 2 plot of Graceland. Mike has tons of interesting news to send back to the FBI, Johnny is in with Crazy Carlito Jr., and Paige is chasing whatever horrible thing is happening to these girls. The twists and turns are all there this season, but the surfing and house bonfires are sadly missing.

The balance of Graceland has shifted. Despite Charlie and Briggs’ and Paige and Mike’s sexual escapades, the house feels less like the beach frat party it once was. It’s all work all the time for the Gracelanders. With a 13-episode season, it’s hard to fit everything in, but regardless of the intricately interesting plot, we are still craving a drink at The Drop.

Graceland airs Wednesdays at 10/9 C on USA.

TV Families

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The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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Remember, this is going to just be a reference not a copy. window.peopleAdMappings['header-cm-ad']['peopleAdheadercmad'] = window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdheadercmad']; window.peopleAdMappings['_renderedAds']['peopleAdheadercmad'] = window.peopleAdMappings['peopleAdheadercmad']; // POS Groups information. </script> </div> <!-- /.header-cm-ad --> </span> </div> </header><!-- #masthead --> <div id="people-time-health-banner"><div id="ad-time-health"></div></div> <div id="site__content" class="site__content"> <main role="main"> <article id="post-588800" class="article-single post-588800 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-article category-music creative-work-11730"> <header class="article-header"> <h2 class="article-header__subchannel channel__color--color"><a class="channel__color--color" href="/article/">Article</a></h2><h1 class="article-header__title">000</h1><p class="article-header__byline"><a href="http://ew.com/author/elisabeth-vincentelli/" aria-label="Posts by Elisabeth Vincentelli" class="author url fn" rel="author">Elisabeth Vincentelli</a></p><p class="article-header__timestamp">Posted on <time datetime="2000-04-14T04:00:00+00:00">April 14, 2000 at 4:00am EDT</time></p> <div class="article-header__share"> <div class="sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled"><div class="robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-icon-text sd-sharing"><div class="sd-content"><ul><li class="share-facebook"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="sharing-facebook-588800" class="share-facebook sd-button share-icon" href="http://ew.com/article/2000/04/14/000/?share=facebook" target="_blank" title="Share"><span>Share</span></a></li><li class="share-twitter"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="sharing-twitter-588800" class="share-twitter sd-button share-icon" href="http://ew.com/article/2000/04/14/000/?share=twitter" target="_blank" title="Tweet"><span>Tweet</span></a></li><li class="share-email"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="" class="share-email sd-button 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<div class="article-body"> <div class="article__letter-grade"><span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span><p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></p></div> <div class="article-body__inner"> <div class="triangle-anchor"></div><p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. 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