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'The Fosters' recap: Maybe we should Google it?

Season 2 | Episode 2 | “Take Me Out” | Aired June 23, 2014

Welcome back, Foster fam! Episode 2 of ABC Family’s summer season of The Fosters, “Take Me Out,” felt a bit like the tail end of the June 16 premiere. That is to say: There’s still a lot to discuss about birth fathers, piano-playing hands and the whereabouts of Ana.

When we last left Callie, she was on the hunt for her birth father, Robert “Jack McPhee” Quinn. In this latest installment, unbeknownst to her, Callie is hobnobbing with RQ himself at work. She’s giving him advice on the best milkshakes in town, and in return, he’s leaving her mysterious $100 tips.

Back at home, Callie discovers Robert Quinn has a few conditions before giving away his parental rights: Callie needs to get a DNA test and sign a contract stating she’ll never sue her birth father for money. In short, homeboy has dough stacks. Callie, of course, complies. She just wants to get adopted. RQ, of course, is a no-show to the DNA testing. They take some swabs anyway and Callie goes on with her day.

We’re then treated to a lovely scene between Callie and Mariana in which they confide in one another, comfort one another, tease one another and hug it out. They’re real sisters, you guys! This family has come so far since day one, and getting these little sibling-bonding moments (this episode is full of them) has been really rewarding and fun and just melts my cold, dead heart.


Callie takes her daddy mystery to the greatest detective of our time: the Internet. Having Googled the identity of RQ, Callie confronts the dairy aficionado who frequents her workplace. She knows he’s her father and she’s angry. RQ swears he had no idea Callie even existed before the abandonment papers, and that leaving Callie’s mom was the biggest mistake of his life. Oh yeah? Tell it to the waitress at the next milkshake stand, buddy!

RQ promises to sign away his parental rights once the family lawyers OK it, hands Callie a letter and busts out of that joint. Alone in her room, Callie opens the letter written by, surprise — RQ’s daughter, Sophia (Bailee Madison!). Callie has a half-sister.

Though Callie has very little control over her fate at the moment, the fate of our friend Brandon lies literally within his hands. Brandon announces he’d like to get the surgery on his busted hand. He knows the inherent risks, but having 95 percent of his mobility back isn’t the same as 100 percent. He needs to have a shot at playing the piano like he used to. Not so fast, B. Stef and Mike (note: NOT Lena) forbid the surgery. It could make things worse and cause permanent damage. It’s too risky.

To blow off some steam, Brandon agrees to drive his siblings to The Ground Space, a club with an all-ages night, featuring the band Someone’s Little Sister. Emma’s friend Mat (Jordan Rodrigues) is in the band and, according to Ems, Someone’s Little Sister will be rocking an ’80s pop vibe mixed with The Black Keys. Brandon is braced for torture.


But what do we have here? Someone’s Little Sister’s lead singer, Lou, hops on stage and is — gasp — a lady (Ashley Argota). B likes what he sees. Turns out Brandon also knows Mat. Mat invites Brandon to help out the band with some of their songs. Before Brandon can even consider the offer, Lady Lou puts a stop to it. She sasses over to Brandon and declares him too “buttoned up” to really know anything about their type of music. Don’t worry, Brandon: Opposites attract, if you catch my drift.

Back at the homestead, Brandon, also putting the Internet to good use, does a little research on Someone’s Little Sister. After listening to Lady Lou’s sweet sounds, B breaks out the old Ross Gellar keyboard and begins to play along to the band’s music. If he can’t play classical music, could playing in a rock band be the next best thing? When his parents agree to go along with whatever Brandon decides surgery-wise, B has a change of heart. Surgery is put on hold! Looks like our little Brandon is newly inspired.

Like her son, Stef has had a lot on her mind over the course of the hour. Not only is she dealing with the complexities of keeping Brandon safe while still allowing him to make his own choices in life (motherhood, amiright?), but she also has the Mike situation to resolve.

Stef still has her suspicions regarding Ana’s current MIA status and Mike. She asks Dani for more details on the night Mike came home drunk and covered in blood, but Dani doesn’t offer up much. Of course, Dani rats Stef out, and Mike is infuriated. He pays a visit to Stef and demands to know why she was pumping Dani for information. Then I said, no, Mike, someone else you know was pumping Dani, and we all started a slow clap in my honor.

Stef asks Mike point-blank if he had anything to do with Ana’s disappearance, and Mike pleads innocence. However, the look he has on his face as he leaves says otherwise. Later on, Stef learns a body has turned up at Ana’s halfway house but has yet to be identified. Looks like Mike might have some ‘splaining to do.


In other family news:

  • We all know Emma is a little bossy, but only Jesus is boneheaded enough to tell his own girlfriend that it’s kind of a turn-off. What Jesus means to say is that he feels invisible in the relationship, which is valid. Regardless, Emma is clearly hurt and storms off. You know what? You do you, Emma. You do you.
  • Jude realizes Connor (Gavin MacIntosh) may not be the best friend he thought he was. When Jude basically asks if Connor would still be his friend if he knew Jude was gay, Connor hesitates. Ruh-roh.
  • Timothy the sperm donor returns!
  • Mariana only has eyes for a new guy: Mat, the guitarist for Someone’s Little Sister. He was sporting a semi-ponytail, so you know I’m on board (Zac, we hardly knew ye).

What do we think — is Robert Quinn too good to be true? When do we get that first Maia Mitchell/Bailee Madison scene we’ve all been waiting for? And will someone please tell Dani to take a hike?

The Fosters, rated TV-14, airs Mondays at 9/8 C on ABC Family.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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