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'Famous in 12' recap: Trying to get in The Game

Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired June 24, 2014

DJ MikeGeez. Leave town and miss one episode of Famous in 12 and come back to find out that while you were gone, the family is falling apart. And taking off most of their clothing.

Episode 3 left us with Harvey’s assignment for the family to decide if the cost of fame was worth the possible destruction of their family. Episode 4 jumps right in, with the Artiaga family telling Harvey they’ve decided that the cost is worth it: They’re all in. (Because fame or no fame, Jameelah’s always going to be a bitch. Hey, I didn’t say it, the other girls did last week, so don’t go hatin’ on me.) Harvey tells them that they need to “amp it up,” and now that people are starting to know who they are, it’s time to exploit it. You know, the same advice every father wants to hear some dude give his daughters. 

Last Dance: We find out that Taliah is still grieving the loss of her incredibly adorable son’s father (can we see more of that precious little boy, please?), who died a few months ago from cancer. Like Taliah told me in our interview, she’s determined to provide for her son, and tells mom Angie that she did not come here to fail. Momager Angie contacts an agent that manages choreographers and submits a video of Taliah dancing in the living room. When the agent calls and tells Taliah that he’s set up an audition with Mikey Minden (co-creator of the Pussycat Dolls), she’s understandably ecstatic for the amazing opportunity.

Later, at Club Jete, Taliah does an awkward freestyle dance in front of the entire club — and Minden — that truthfully isn’t much different than something you’d do in front of your own mirror in your underwear when no one else is in the house. I mean, I’m guessing. Angie is beside herself with joy for her daughter, however, and cries tears of pride watching her “do her thing.” Listen, she’s a good dancer, no question. But a great dancer? Not yet. When Minden meets with Taliah and Angie, he gives her a 6 out of 10 and encourages her to take classes after she discloses she’s never really taken classes or danced with a group before. 


Party Crashers: Taliah and Jameelah decide to go to the Staples Center and crash the celebration for the L.A. Kings, who recently won the Stanley Cup. Failing at lying their way in by trying to pass as AEG interns and media outlet reps, plus a lot of other lying that doesn’t pay off, they end up scoring tickets when some Famous in 12 fans notice them. Hold on. L.A. Kings fans = Famous in 12 fans? I’m having a hard time making that make sense, but I guess I’ll just go with it. Once inside, however, all the girls do is take a lot of high-school-ish videos of themselves with their phone and congratulate themselves on getting in. 

Get Your Head in the Game: The family attends a charity event where Sundy Carter (Basketball Wives) and The Game (rapper) are going head-to-head in a friendly competition to feed the hungry. Apparently, Taliah has a big man-crush on The Game.


The entire morning that they are passing out food, Taliah has her mind on a different Game (if you will), and is disappointed that the rapper hasn’t showed up. Maariyah, once again securing her spot the most mature Artiaga, tells her sister that she’s not disappointed BECAUSE SHE’S HERE TO HELP PEOPLE. Geez, Taliah, get your head in the game! When The Game finally shows up, Taliah is a flirting disaster. DJ Dad scores some Game points by talking up the family’s charity game, but Taliah loses big time when she tries to exchange social media information and her man-crush totally ignores her and texts on his phone the entire conversation. Poor Taliah doesn’t got game … or Game. 

No Strings Attached: Continuing with their “feeding the hungry” schemes, the three sisters decide to pass out food outside a nightclub at midnight in hopes of catching a few overindulged celebrities with the munchies. After Jameelah convinces a hot dog vendor to follow her to the club, the girls have fun with various (read: common) clubgoers (“Hey! You’ve got the world’s sexiest virgin putting stuff on your hot dog!” Ew). And then, just when they’re about to go “Bye Bye Bye,” who walks out but Lance Bass, who knows who they are. (I’ll admit, this recognition wasn’t nearly as shocking to me as the L.A. Kings fans.) Lance is cute. Lance is charming. Lance is respectful and patient and very chatty. Lance is quite possibly drunk, but that’s neither here nor there. *N SYNC FOREVER!!

Fin12gifThe Greatest Gift of All: Angie takes the girls to the gifting suite at the Critics’ Choice Movie Awards, and they run into Niecy Nash, who not only recognizes them but is also a fan of the show. (This is starting to work, ya’ll.) 

Taliah takes a quick spin with DWTS’s Sasha Farber (maybe he can give her a few choreography tips?) and then they run into Bachelor bad girl Courtney Robertson. (Boo. Hissssss.) Courtney gives Jameelah some sage advice about ignoring the haters, and then the two peas in a pod exchange Twitter handles. Damn. I was kinda hoping Courtney would’ve spilled the beans about what really happened in the ocean in Puerto Rico. 

JameelahFashionista: DJ Dad takes the girls to the Third Street Promenade, a street known for street performances, to showcase their talents. After a blip of Maariyah’s vocal abilities (sorry, but yikes) and more freestylin’ by Taliah, it’s Jameelah’s turn to strut her stuff. Walking a 10-foot red carpet, the model/actress wannabe disrobes to show off a flimsy pink negligee. I’m sorry, but wasn’t it just last week that DJ Dad was chastising the girls for wearing lingerie in public?Jameelah spots her idol, America’s Top Model Adrianne Curry, in the crowd (a setup, perhaps?) and immediately corners her to get her advice. Curry tells her to pretend you are somebody, but keeping your trousers on in the middle of the street is also a fine idea. Jameelah wants to exchange numbers and have lunch, and Curry responds by actually giving the desperate daughter her email: “I’m that crazy.” 


Harvey’s Reality Check: Right off the bat, Harvey tells the Artiagas that “things are not good.” Let’s start with Taliah.


Harvey tells her that blowing off the opportunity with Mikey Minden was disastrous: “What the hell were you doing? Freestyle?” See? I’m not the only one who thought that, you guys. He’s disappointed in her lack of preparation, as well as how she played the game by not playing The Game. (Nope, it’s not getting old.)

Harvey praises Jameelah on the connection she made with Adrianne Curry at the Promenade, and tells her she needs to create more moments like that in the coming weeks. 

Lance Bass and the hot dog caper, however? Harvey tells the girls they should’ve stroked his ego (I’m totally letting that one go) and should’ve made him more interested in them. If they don’t turn it around this next week, they’ll be going “Bye Bye Bye.” (OK, fine. He didn’t say it like that, but I had to get it in one more time.)

Famous in 12 meter reading for week four? 51. Ouch. 


As Harvey put it, it’s now a “do-or-die situation,” and he’ll end this if they can’t turn it around because he won’t “watch them bleed.” Really, Harvey, nobody wants that. 

We know what the Famous in 12 meter (and Harvey) think, but what about you? Are you Team Artiaga or Team Go Back to Beaumont? What would your advice be to the family to get noticed? Who knows? If you comment, you just might give the family an idea for their next big scheme!

Catch new episodes of Famous in 12 (rated TV-MA) on Tuesdays at 8/7 C  on The CW, and more of Michelle’s posts at You’re My Favorite Today.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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