Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired June 24, 2014
one episode of Famous in 12 and come back to find out that while you were gone, the family is falling apart. And taking off most of their clothing.
Episode 3 left us with Harvey’s assignment for the family to decide if the cost of fame was worth the possible destruction of their family. Episode 4 jumps right in, with the Artiaga family telling Harvey they’ve decided that the cost is worth it: They’re all in. (Because fame or no fame, Jameelah’s always going to be a bitch. Hey, I didn’t say it, the other girls did last week, so don’t go hatin’ on me.) Harvey tells them that they need to “amp it up,” and now that people are starting to know who they are, it’s time to exploit it. You know, the same advice every father wants to hear some dude give his daughters.
Last Dance: We find out that Taliah is still grieving the loss of her incredibly adorable son’s father (can we see more of that precious little boy, please?), who died a few months ago from cancer. Like Taliah told me in our interview , she’s determined to provide for her son, and tells mom Angie that she did not come here to fail. Momager Angie contacts an agent that manages choreographers and submits a video of Taliah dancing in the living room. When the agent calls and tells Taliah that he’s set up an audition with Mikey Minden (co-creator of the Pussycat Dolls), she’s understandably ecstatic for the amazing opportunity.
Later, at Club Jete, Taliah does an awkward freestyle dance in front of the entire club — and Minden — that truthfully isn’t much different than something you’d do in front of your own mirror in your underwear when no one else is in the house. I mean, I’m guessing. Angie is beside herself with joy for her daughter, however, and cries tears of pride watching her “do her thing.” Listen, she’s a good dancer, no question. But a great dancer? Not yet. When Minden meets with Taliah and Angie, he gives her a 6 out of 10 and encourages her to take classes after she discloses she’s never really taken classes or danced with a group before.
Party Crashers: Taliah and Jameelah decide to go to the Staples Center and crash the celebration for the L.A. Kings, who recently won the Stanley Cup. Failing at lying their way in by trying to pass as AEG interns and media outlet reps, plus a lot of other lying that doesn’t pay off, they end up scoring tickets when some Famous in 12 fans notice them. Hold on. L.A. Kings fans = Famous in 12 fans? I’m having a hard time making that make sense, but I guess I’ll just go with it. Once inside, however, all the girls do is take a lot of high-school-ish videos of themselves with their phone and congratulate themselves on getting in.
VIDEO
Get Your Head in the Game: The family attends a charity event where Sundy Carter (Basketball Wives ) and The Game (rapper) are going head-to-head in a friendly competition to feed the hungry. Apparently, Taliah has a big man-crush on The Game.
The entire morning that they are passing out food, Taliah has her mind on a different Game (if you will), and is disappointed that the rapper hasn’t showed up. Maariyah, once again securing her spot the most mature Artiaga, tells her sister that she’s not disappointed BECAUSE SHE’S HERE TO HELP PEOPLE. Geez, Taliah, get your head in the game! When The Game finally shows up, Taliah is a flirting disaster. DJ Dad scores some Game points by talking up the family’s charity game, but Taliah loses big time when she tries to exchange social media information and her man-crush totally ignores her and texts on his phone the entire conversation. Poor Taliah doesn’t got game … or Game.
No Strings Attached: Continuing with their “feeding the hungry” schemes, the three sisters decide to pass out food outside a nightclub at midnight in hopes of catching a few overindulged celebrities with the munchies. After Jameelah convinces a hot dog vendor to follow her to the club, the girls have fun with various (read: common) clubgoers (“Hey! You’ve got the world’s sexiest virgin putting stuff on your hot dog!” Ew). And then, just when they’re about to go “Bye Bye Bye,” who walks out but Lance Bass , who knows who they are. ( I’ll admit, this recognition wasn’t nearly as shocking to me as the L.A. Kings fans.) Lance is cute. Lance is charming. Lance is respectful and patient and very chatty. Lance is quite possibly drunk, but that’s neither here nor there. *N SYNC FOREVER!!
Niecy Nash , who not only recognizes them but is also a fan of the show. (This is starting to work, ya’ll.)
Taliah takes a quick spin with DWTS ’s Sasha Farber (maybe he can give her a few choreography tips?) and then they run into Bachelor bad girl Courtney Robertson
Fashionista: DJ Dad takes the girls to the Third Street Promenade, a street known for street performances, to showcase their talents. After a blip of Maariyah’s vocal abilities (sorry, but yikes) and more freestylin’ by Taliah, it’s Jameelah’s turn to strut her stuff. Walking a 10-foot red carpet, the model/actress wannabe disrobes to show off a flimsy pink negligee. I’m sorry, but wasn’t it just last week that DJ Dad was chastising the girls for wearing lingerie in public?Jameelah spots her idol, America’s Top Model Adrianne Curry , in the crowd (a setup, perhaps?) and immediately corners her to get her advice. Curry tells her to pretend you are somebody, but keeping your trousers on in the middle of the street is also a fine idea. Jameelah wants to exchange numbers and have lunch, and Curry responds by actually giving the desperate daughter her email: “I’m that crazy.”
Harvey’s Reality Check: Right off the bat, Harvey tells the Artiagas that “things are not good.” Let’s start with Taliah.
Harvey tells her that blowing off the opportunity with Mikey Minden was disastrous: “What the hell were you doing? Freestyle?” See? I’m not the only one who thought that, you guys. He’s disappointed in her lack of preparation, as well as how she played the game by not playing The Game. (Nope, it’s not getting old.)
Harvey praises Jameelah on the connection she made with Adrianne Curry at the Promenade, and tells her she needs to create more moments like that in the coming weeks.
Lance Bass and the hot dog caper, however? Harvey tells the girls they should’ve stroked his ego (I’m totally letting that one go) and should’ve made him more interested in them. If they don’t turn it around this next week, they’ll be going “Bye Bye Bye.” (OK, fine. He didn’t say it like that, but I had to get it in one more time.)
Famous in 12 meter reading for week four? 51. Ouch.
As Harvey put it, it’s now a “do-or-die situation,” and he’ll end this if they can’t turn it around because he won’t “watch them bleed.” Really, Harvey, nobody wants that.
We know what the Famous in 12 meter (and Harvey) think, but what about you? Are you Team Artiaga or Team Go Back to Beaumont? What would your advice be to the family to get noticed? Who knows? If you comment, you just might give the family an idea for their next big scheme!
Catch new episodes of Famous in 12 (rated TV-MA) on Tuesdays at 8/7 C on The CW, and more of Michelle’s posts at You’re My Favorite Today .
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<p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p>
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