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'Nurse Jackie' recap: RIP Nancy Wood

Season 6 | Episode 11 | “Sisterhood” | Aired June 22, 2014

This episode of Nurse Jackie ties up a few ends that have been hanging loose all season — the Nancy Wood investigation and Kevin’s wedding. If ever there were a need for Jackie to self-medicate, both of those situations are it. And medicate she does. All. Day. Long.

After starting the day at the plastic surgeon’s office — where she schedules an eye lift to get a prescription for post-surgery pain killers, which she fills, and then promptly cancels the surgery — Jackie arrives at All Saints to discover that addict/nun/recurring patient Helen is back. And this time, it looks like Helen’s suicide attempt might just get her the final result she wants.

Like she’s done so many times in the past, Jackie takes an added interest in Helen (because she sees herself in her?), and takes extra pains to make sure the dying nun is comfortable in her final hours. Helen tells Jackie that at one time she had a group of sisters at the convent who were her family, but now Jackie is all she has and she’d like to repay Jackie in some way. Spoiler alert: She does.

Meanwhile, Akalitus tells Jackie that the DEA agent is on her ass because of her lie about filling the prescription for Vicodin for her arthritis. It looks like Jackie’s friend/boss is finally starting to string the facts together. “My hands are neatly tied, aren’t they?” she asks Jackie.

While discussing Helen’s impending death, Jackie asks Zoey to send her the nice iPhone picture of Helen that Zoey took the last time the nun was in the ER. I don’t know where this is going, but I’m pretty sure Jackie isn’t asking for the photo to post on Instagram.

Later, when it becomes obvious that Helen only has a few hours left, Jackie gathers all the women who work in the ER around Helen’s bed (which gives this episode its title). A sisterhood. Lovely touch, Jackie, but after 10 episodes this season, I’m on to you. Carrie gives an impassioned (and fantastically Carrie) speech about how she always hated nuns and how nuns hated her and ruined “like 80 percent” of her childhood. “But Helen, I don’t hate you. I wish you peace,” she concludes, looking very pleased with herself. And here’s where we discover how Jackie collected on Helen’s offer.

“Don’t call me Helen — Helen is my religious name. My real name is Nancy. Nancy Wood,” Helen tells the group.

wait what

Carrie immediately rediscovers her hatred of nuns and unleashes on Helen/Nancy for stealing her DEA number: “All you nuns are out to get me!” Akalitus apologizes to Jackie for suspecting her as Nancy Wood, and Jackie celebrates by going into a bathroom stall and snorting a lot of white powder and looking mighty pleased with herself (I’m assuming it’s Vicodin, but since Advil is my painkiller of choice, I can’t be sure).

Flying high on her deception — and about four lines — Jackie returns to a diabetic patient’s bedside and administers 800 units of insulin instead of the 8 units that Carrie had ordered. The patient immediately goes into shock (I’m guessing. As the owner of a diabetic cat, I’m familiar with insulin, but have thankfully never given her 100 times her dose, so I’m not familiar with the effects). Zoey jumps into action by offsetting with an injection of glucose. When the patient regains consciousness, Zoey lies and tells her that she just passed out for a moment. Jackie thanks Zoey, but passes it off as a mistake due to the stress of Kevin’s wedding. Zoey is suspicious.

With a full day of using, and the stress of deceiving all her friends and almost killing a patient, Jackie is ready to cut loose at Kevin and Mia’s wedding. At the reception, Jackie’s favorite drug dealer — and wedding date — Gabe arrives. When Grace sees Gabe, she immediately recognizes him as the drug dealer who sold her friend Mandy drugs at a party. Grace is shocked to see Jackie happily welcome him with a kiss. After calling Zoey in hysterics (and, I’m assuming, blowing the whistle on Jackie), Grace confronts the happy, high couple on the dance floor. Jackie introduces Gabe as her friend, and Grace responds with, “Yeah, we’ve met.” She then calls him out for selling Mandy drugs, and Jackie flips out to learn that he sells drugs to kids: “She doesn’t look 15!”

Gabe defends himself. As they continue to loudly argue and the fight escalates, Jackie pushes Gabe into a table, and Kevin eventually throws both of them out. Nothing like seeing your mom get thrown out of your dad’s wedding for going fisticuffs with her drug dealer/date to make you sign up for the “eternity” option on your therapy schedule.

NancyWoodIDBack at All Saints, Helen has died. As Zoey and Carrie go through her personal effects (a wooden cross, a pack of cigarettes and an ID), Zoey notices that the photo on Helen/Nancy’s driver’s license is the photo that she just sent to Jackie from her phone. Heartbroken at the realization that Jackie made a fake ID for Helen and that Jackie herself was Nancy Wood, Zoey’s suspicions become real and she breaks down in tears. As the episode ends, we see Zoey — not only the best nurse, but the best friend — calmly walk into Akalitus’ office: “We need to talk about Jackie,” she says.

Next week is the finale, and I can only hope that it will also be the end to all the hurt and deception Jackie has caused this season. Don’t worry — I’m not really stupid enough to count on it.

Nurse Jackie, rated TV-MA, airs Sundays at 9 p.m. on Showtime. Read more of Michelle’s posts at You’re My Favorite Today.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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