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'General Hospital' recap: I'm sorry...sorry you're a psycho

Season 51 | Episodes 54-58 | Aired June 16-20, 2014

Remember that time, two weeks ago, when Nina Clay returned from the dead? Nina was all sweetly confused about technology and still in love with Silas. Such a delicate flower, confined to a wheelchair, how could anyone question her angelic motives for returning to reclaim her life, stolen from her for 20 years?

Well, now the questions are front and center, at least to Samantha Morgan and viewers. While Sam isn’t shouting her suspicions from rooftops (yet), she is definitely sensing that there is more to Nina than her waif-like demeanor. Sam is smart enough to realize that while Nina didn’t say anything outright malicious, there is something a little too understanding about Nina. Sure, she’s supportive of Sam and Silas, understanding that Silas moved on, but she’s awfully fixated on Sam and Jason’s relationship too, especially with Sam still wearing her wedding ring.

Why Silas didn’t point out that there is a massive difference between 20 years (him) and 18 months (Sam) in the grieving process, I’m not sure. But no sooner does Nina bless his evening out with Sam than Nina’s freak flag is revealed to viewers. Right after Silas leaves for the night, Nina stands up, kicks her wheelchair aside with a banshee scream, and saunters across the living room. She zeroes in on the loving plaque she gave Silas after medical school graduation, reflecting on how she (not Madeline) trashed his apartment several months back. And she did it in heels! So whatever the true story is behind Nina’s absence, she’s clearly been awake, mobile and crazy for quite some time. Any guesses where this is heading? Remember, she is 50 percent Olbrecht!

Another person whose motivations are increasingly fuzzier are Levi Dunkleman’s. He presents himself as a granola-crunching, tree-hugging, evolved mentor to Maxie, but it is becoming obvious that he’s got a bit of a temper and a controlling streak. In the park, prior to Gabriel’s funeral, he insinuates that Nathan is interested in Maxie as more than a roommate. When Nathan taunts him about Maxie indulging in “his meat” (aka ribs) at the Floating Rib, Levi slugs him. Later in the week, Maxie’s hearing about Baby Georgie is moved up a day when the judge receives information that Nathan may have lied when he said he threw away the court summons. Jeez, wonder who made that phone call? Could it be the man who “claims” to have Maxie’s best interests in mind?

The judge wants Nathan to swear under oath to his actions, but Maxie is concerned about Nathan perjuring himself on her behalf. Levi interrupts the proceedings first, to give a speech about Maxie’s dedication to humanitarian causes and how wrong the court would be to keep her away from her daughter. And right when Nathan is about to lie under oath, Maxie’s conscience gets the better of her and she reveals to the judge that she did miss the court date on purpose. And while she contends that she has matured, she admits that she’s not sure if she will be a good mom, but believes that she has grown up and is a different and better person. The judge isn’t swayed, and because Maxie was complicit with Nathan’s lie, denies her visitation, pending a six-month reevaluation. Maxie is crushed, but does manage to lash out (finally) when Levi suggests a breath of fresh air would make her feel better.

Jordan continues working undercover for Anna in the least undercover way possible. Once Anna sees Julian leave the gallery, she pops in to pressure Jordan to find out who the big boss really is and clues her in to Ric’s not-really-dead-status. Later, Jordan tries to get the information from Julian, but is interrupted when a new mobster, Mickey Diamond (yes, really) comes in to allege that Faux Luke has put him in charge of the whole operation. Julian wonders if the gallery is bugged, and I wonder why Julian doesn’t seem to have any type of surveillance equipment in his base of operations. With all of the shenanigans going on there, it might be time for Jordan to invest in a disposable cell phone to talk to Anna, instead of their public-space meetings!

The “duh” award of the week goes to Michael Cornithos. First, he shows his merit as a 20-something CEO of a multimillion dollar corporation by flexing a little nepotism and giving Morgan a job overseeing renovation of the poor part of Port Charles, including Barbara Jean’s legendary Brownstone. Then, he and Kiki both are quick to accept Tracy’s tale of woe. Tracy tells them that Luke got a very “deep tissue” massage from two masseurs during their honeymoon and she is now getting an annulment. She apologizes to them for believing his deceptions and asks to have a job back at ELQ. Michael accepts this, and says she can have a job once the annulment papers are in hand. No sooner does this take place then she calls Luke and tells him that Michael and Kiki-Kaka bought it. Oh, Tracy, when will you learn?

The real rock stars of Port Charles this week are the offspring telling their parents exactly what they thought, no punches (or kicks) spared.

First is the return of the long-unseen Josslyn Jacks (played by newcomer Hannah Nordberg). Josslyn is not happy to see Franco moving in with her mother, especially after she overheard her father refer to him as a psycho serial killer. It’s downright hysterical to see Carly flummoxed by her daughter’s attitude, not realizing that stubbornness and moxie are clearly inherited traits. Josslyn makes her displeasure known about the living arrangements, including a swift kick to Franco’s shin.

Next is Dante, letting Sonny have it for his dalliance with Ava and its effect on his mother. He wonders how Sonny could do something so hideous, especially with his own son’s girlfriend. Sonny tries to be stoic, but Dante just blasts him. He’s almost ready to break when Carly swoops in and lays out a tall tale about how Sonny felt guilty moving on with Olivia so soon after Connie’s death. Dante isn’t buying it, but takes leave for now. Sonny rants to Carly about how he can’t choke the life out of Ava since she is pregnant. Also, how he can’t get the guilt of shooting A.J. off his chest because Michael comes first. And then how it is all Ava’s fault. Isn’t it high time Sonny made a new friend … called “accountability”?

Finally, the one character who is truly coming into her own is Molly. Armed with a truth she doesn’t even truly know she has, she refuses to play nice with Julian after Ric’s death. When Alexis refuses to cut ties with Julian, Molly takes matters into her own hands and moves out to Sam’s apartment. Who would’ve thought that the frivolous teen who spent last year writing romance novels would be this year’s voice of reason?

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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