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'The Wil Wheaton Project' recap: Nightmare fuel

Season 1 | Episode 3 | “A Nightmare On Wilm Street: The Dream Machine” | Aired June 17, 2014

Another week, another recap and a new time slot. Yep, the show has been moved up to 9 p.m. because, as Wil says, 9 is the new 10.

Now it’s time to see what else Wil said. Insert WIL WHEATON battle cry here!

First thing’s first: Game of Thrones finale. Which means SPOILER ALERT.

We covered the basics: Brienne and the Hound’s battle royale. Tyrion in a box. Tywin dead on the john. But the big thing was the ever-growing list of Dany’s titles. You may have missed them, but Wil has you covered:

  • Breaker of chains and mother of dragons.
  • She who is a sister of another mister.
  • The ayatollah of rock and rollah.
  • Three-time regional spelling bee champion.
  • And the one who denied it, yet supplied it.

Wil also praised the title sequence, then went all Kanye and said this one was the greatest versions of all time.

OKAY, YOU CAN COME BACK NOW.

In non GoT news, let’s move on to Blackbeard and how everyone’s playing him this year.

Hugh Jackman, John Malkovich, Benedict Cumberbatch, Angelina Jolie, the original cast of Star Wars, Kuato from Total Recall (my personal favorite), Jaws and Wil Wheaton.

WHY ARE THERE NO PICTURES ON THE INTERNET OF THIS AMAZEMENT? Because the world is cruel.

Thing we just learned: Making jokes about Harrison Ford’s ankle injury for a nerd crowd will get Wil Wheaton hissed at. If it helps Wil, I liked the “door shot first” joke.

Did you know Mayor Eric Garcetti is lobbying to get George Lucas to build a Star Wars museum in L.A.? He is. Wil’s got a whole proposal on why. I can’t find video of it; however, this sums it up well:

We all know the 405 is a TRAP.

Jabba would be close to plastic surgeons.

You can also help make it happen. Just tweet with the hashtag #WhyLucasinLA.

Other takeaways from Wil’s week of watching TV: Teen Wolf is the most confusing show ever. Finding Bigfoot is a catch-and-release program, and Penny Dreadful got a theater-nerd-worthy hat tip.

Oh no. We’re about to talk M. Night Shyamalan and his new TV show, which is like his movies. Really, it’s all just one bug trip into Shyamaland.

Time for Wil’s new favorite game of the week, called “What Was That?” with a special guest, True Blood‘s Amelia Rose Blair.

The winner of the game gets to live.

AMELIA WINS. WIL DIES.

Oh, we have an update on Hodorshop from last week.

That’s the end of the recap, but there’s more to the show, so here are a couple of additional thoughts. At the risk of you never reading my recaps again, it’s worth watching the show.

1) Syfy re-runs it all week. Trust me. I have the TiVo to prove it.

2) You can watch it on syfy.com.

3) If you can’t watch it on syfy.com, Wil suggests this:

That said, I hope you’ll read this too, because I have abandonment issues. 😉

The Wil Wheaton Project airs Tuesdays at 9/8 C on Syfy.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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