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'Undateable' recap: You've got a friend in me

Season 1 | Episode 6 | “Leader of the Pack” | Aired June 12, 2014

Just because Danny is pseudo-dating Sabrina, that doesn’t mean he is too busy to dole out advice to his Baby Bird. With that said, don’t expect any words of wisdom when he’s using the kitchen countertop to assist in a little light stretching before lovemaking that will include high level of difficulty during the dismount.

Justin is sad. He misses Nicki and has resorted to using a “choose your own adventure” script to help guide him through the intricate mysteries of phone sex. Danny overhears Justin’s pathetic delivery and sends the girls in to train him. Leslie assures Justin that it’s not what you say, but how you say it. They use a task as mundane as going to the grocery store as an example. The girls flirt with each other in 1-900 voices, and even make the phrase “canned beans” sound sexy. Justin jumps in, and within seconds, he has invited fellow grocers into the scenario and somehow landed a lewd comment about Leslie’s trunk. Epic fail.

Meanwhile, Danny has decided that Brett needs to ask the Hot Electrician out on a date. Justin reminds Danny that Brett is barely peeking out of the closet, and if he’s turned down, he will never recover. Danny disagrees and the two begin arguing. Danny thinks Brett needs a push, and Justin thinks he needs to remain safely behind the bar.

Brett chooses the option that results in him going out on a date.

Danny once again flaunts his winning moment in Justin’s face, comparing them to characters in his beloved Toy Story movies. Clearly Danny is Buzz Lightyear, the cool toy that swoops in as the hero. And Justin is the nerdy, badly dressed toy that nobody wants to listen to anymore.

There’s no time to assign other characters (even though Shelly claimed Slinky Dog) now that Hot Electrician is in the building. When Brett begins freaking out, Danny suggests he practices asking out a hot guy. Danny flashes a smile and hints that his hips will take Brett to infinity and beyond. Justin turns on the boy-band charm, announcing that if anyone is going to be fake asked out, “In the words of ‘N Sync, it’s gonna be me. I call the big spoon.”

Once again, Brett chooses Danny. Justin leaves in a huff. Brett starts to hyperventilate and Danny instructs him to go to his happy place. Which happens to be McDonald’s. And Shelly is there, because that’s his happy place too. I’m lovin’ it.

Enough stalling! Brett saunters over to the bar, tosses some pretzels to get the attention of Hot Electrician and boldly asks him out on a date. Hot Electrician is flattered, but not interested. Deflated, Brett leaves the bar. That was quick.

Later that night, Danny accuses Justin of smiling when Brett got shot down. He’s happy that Danny’s advice failed for once. Justin admits it. Naturally, Brett heard everything from inside a bag of potato chips, where he was eating his feelings.

Later, Justin apologizes to Brett and promises that he will never get upset again, since Danny has usurped him as the leader of the undateables. Danny assures Justin that Woody and Buzz Lightyear were partners, and every day they spend together makes them better friends.

Of course, he just said that so he could go to infinity and beyond with Sabrina. This is Danny we’re talking about.

Undateable Quotables

Danny to Justin: When your high level of estrogen combines with her level of estrogen, that creates a barrier that no man can break through. Not even Vin Diesel.

Brett: I’ve had sex with a lot of ladies.
Shelly: That’s like a vegetarian eating my steak.

Danny: If you want life advice, come to Danny Burton. Not Justin …
Justin: You don’t know my last name?
Danny: Hold on. I saw it on a bill once. Justin Department of Water and Power?

Shelly: You were my first white friend. You taught me how to recycle.

Undateable, rated TV-14, airs Thursdays at 9/8 C on NBC.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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