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Undateable-105-Full.jpg

Image Credit: Justin Lubin/NBC

'Undateable' recap: Live out loud

Season 1 | Episode 5 | “My Hero Is Me” | Aired June 12, 2014

It’s episode 5, and we open with the mentor congratulating his Baby Bird on scoring with the beautiful woman making breakfast in the kitchen. One “undateable” down. Three to go. NBC had better slow down with all the wonderful dating advice, or they will have to change all of their marketing materials for the fall lineup.

Burski is irritated that Justin no longer hangs out with his boys and wonders when the catchphrase became “hoes before bros.” Danny gently explains to the guys that Justin is dealing with something they don’t understand — a sex life. Brett seems to be the only one not comprehending the magnitude of this statement, so Danny puts it into a different perspective. Would he ditch the fellas if a Spartan from 300 needed help washing his abs? Brett yields. Point taken.

Back at the house, Danny makes fun of Justin for staying home to watch movies with Nicki. Justin retorts, “Why do you care? You’re here with your girlfriend!”

NEVER USE THE G-WORD, BABY BIRD. HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?

Justin feels sorry for Danny. Baby Bird is not whipped. Baby Bird can do what he wants. And he wants to tell Nicki that he loves her.

Of course, Nicki walks up in her cutie pajamas at that exact same moment with a look of sheer terror on her face. Caught in the moment, she answers, “Cool.”

It’s time for damage control.

Danny tries to fix the situation using a very visual analogy about a bird and a cat. Ironically, Baby Bird was the cat, and Nicki was the bird. There was some counseling on how to ignore the bird, but the lesson ended with the cat eating the winged creature. I was lost. Justin wasn’t interested. He’s not scared. He lives out loud. And if he wanted, he would ask Nicki to move in with him.

Cue Nicki walking up at that exact moment. Eyes wide. Sheer terror. Take two.

Justin: “Someone put a bell on that girl!” (Best line of the night.)

Later Nicki asks Justin for some alone time to talk. Assuming that she is going to profess her undying love for him, Justin makes a big production of telling Danny to watch, as he leaves the bar using his best cocky walk. This included a well-timed pivot and finger guns, which distract him enough to cause a graceful trip on the stairs. He owned the fall. Because he was falling in love.

Justin arranges his cell phone to capture this moment on video forever. But instead of dropping the three little words he wants to hear, Nicki tells him she’s leaving Detroit to go take care of her mother. CUT!

Danny instructs Justin to bury the feelings and move on with his life, but Justin is too scared that he will never find someone like Nicki again. Danny fills him with enough encouragement that by the end of the conversation, Justin is convinced he could date a model, a dancer or that chick from The Good Wife.

Leslie is disappointed to hear that Danny gave his Baby Bird such bad advice. How is Danny supposed to know what love is? Clearly it’s a battlefield. And he would know that if he had dated anyone longer than a month.

Danny finds Justin moping on the couch, watching his broken-heart video on his phone and singing Meatloaf’s epic anthem “I Would Do Anything for Love.” He commands his protege to go down to the bar and tell Nicki how he feels. Justin doesn’t move, but instead mumbles broken lyrics to his phone. Danny threatens to pick him up and drag him to the bar. Justin’s low center of gravity proves Danny to be a weakling. He may do anything for love, but he won’t do that. No, no. He won’t do that.

So Danny calls for reinforcements. Burski, Brett and Shelly each grab an appendage and literally carry him to the bar and double as human barriers when he tries to escape. They force him to come clean with Nicki. It was an entertaining act of physical comedy by all the guys in the cast.

Justin tells Nicki that he hates that she’s leaving, but he loves the compassionate heart behind the reason why she has to go. He tells her he loves her, and she says it right back. They celebrate for 48 hours before he becomes “undateable” again.

In other news, Brett and Shelly have created a new drinking game. Whenever Burski touches Leslie, they take a drink. It’s a great way to get very drunk very fast. In order not to become alcoholics, the game is soon changed to something a little more manageable. And embarrassing. Whenever Burski randomly touches Leslie, the guys must reveal a fact that Burski would rather remain untold. Throughout the course of the episode, we learn that Burski was breast-fed until he was eight, he pees sitting down and his first three kisses were all cousins at a family reunion.

Here’s hoping that Burski is the next pupil to score a date, because I’m not sure I can handle hearing about the various skeletons in his closet!

Undateable Quotables

[Nicki takes off early. Brett looks annoyed.]
Justin: When you start having morning sex with me, you can leave early too.
Brett: OK, I’m going to call your bluff. Topsies!

Danny: You can’t toss g-bombs out there. I haven’t named her boobs yet. I’m thinking Kathie Lee and Hoda, because they are so perky in the morning!

Danny: What did you do when she told you she was leaving?
Justin: I acted like a man. A crying, screaming, dry-heaving man.

Undateable, rated TV-14, airs Thursdays at 9/8 C on NBC.

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Logo:41 --> <div class="ad-placeholder" id="ad-slot-8fe47af2-609f-4c15-ab67-e6df4542c9ec" data-ad-id="" data-ad-name="ad-slot-8fe47af2-609f-4c15-ab67-e6df4542c9ec" data-ad-width="170" data-ad-height="30" data-ad-package="" data-ad-channel="" data-ad-subchannel="" data-ad-contentpage="false" data-ad-contenttype="" data-ad-multisize="false" data-ad-sizes="['170x30']" data-ad-companion="" data-ad-zone="" data-ad-cmpos="" data-ad-cmtyp="" data-ad-pos="" style="" ></div> </div> </div> </div> <div id="block-system-main" class="block block-system"> <div class="content"> <article id="node-2399168" class="content node node-homepage" about="/node/2399168" typeof="sioc:Item foaf:Document" role="article"> <div class="node-content"> <div class="content"> <section class="block threecol block-featured_dynamic_lead clear"> <!-- NEW DL for the homepage --> <div class="dl-container"> <ul class="dl-list"> <li> <i></i> <a data-title="How Ann Coulter hijacked the Rob Lowe roast" data-oid="FC_1" 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<div class="txtcont"> <a data-title="Charles Osgood retiring as anchor of CBS’ 'Sunday Morning'" data-oid="RR_LN12" href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/08/28/charles-osgood-cbs-sunday-morning-retirement"> <span class="channel">TV</span> <span class="headline">Charles Osgood retiring as anchor of CBS’ 'Sunday Morning'</span> <span class="pub-date">4 hours ago</span> </a> </div> </li> <li class="tout clear movies has-image video"> <div class="imgcont"> <a data-title="'Spider-Man' star Tom Holland sends Chris Hemsworth a stunt challenge" data-oid="RR_LN13" href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/08/28/spider-man-star-tom-holland-challenges-chris-hemsworth-stunt"> <img typeof="foaf:Image" src="http://www.ew.com/sites/default/files/styles/tout_image_612x380/public/i/2016/08/28/tom-holland.jpg?itok=47R1CgJt" width="612" height="380" alt="" title="" /> </a> </div> <div class="txtcont"> <a data-title="'Spider-Man' star Tom Holland sends Chris Hemsworth a stunt challenge" data-oid="RR_LN13" href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/08/28/spider-man-star-tom-holland-challenges-chris-hemsworth-stunt"> <span class="channel">Movies</span> <span class="headline">'Spider-Man' star Tom Holland sends Chris Hemsworth a stunt challenge</span> <div class="play-button"> <i></i> </div> <span class="pub-date">5 hours ago</span> </a> </div> </li> </ul> </section> </div> <div class="inner-col right-col"> <section class="block block-top_stories"> <h2>Most Shared</h2> <ol> <li class="clear"> <i class="number"></i> <a data-title="How Ann Coulter hijacked the Rob Lowe roast" data-oid="RR_MP13" href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/08/27/rob-lowe-roast-comedy-central"> How Ann Coulter hijacked the Rob Lowe roast </a> <img src="http://imagesvc.timeincapp.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ew.com%2Fsites%2Fdefault%2Ffiles%2Fstyles%2Ftout_image_612x380%2Fpublic%2Fi%2F2016%2F07%2F25%2Frob-lowe_0.jpg&h=70&w=70&c=sc&poi=auto" /> </li> <li class="clear"> <i class="number"></i> <a data-title="Chris Hemsworth and 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src="http://imagesvc.timeincapp.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ew.com%2Fsites%2Fdefault%2Ffiles%2Fstyles%2Ftout_image_612x380%2Fpublic%2Fi%2F2016%2F08%2F24%2Fstars_b_font-font-colorff0000bhollow_b_font-gilmore-girls.jpg&h=70&w=70&c=sc&poi=auto" /> </li> <li class="clear"> <i class="number"></i> <a data-title="Marvel's black female Iron Man to be called 'Ironheart'" data-oid="RR_MP13" href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/08/22/marvel-ironheart"> Marvel's black female Iron Man to be called 'Ironheart' </a> <img src="http://imagesvc.timeincapp.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ew.com%2Fsites%2Fdefault%2Ffiles%2Fstyles%2Ftout_image_612x380%2Fpublic%2Fi%2F2016%2F08%2F22%2Fironheart_0.jpg&h=70&w=70&c=sc&poi=auto" /> </li> <li class="clear"> <i class="number"></i> <a data-title="Norman Reedus got naked on set of The Walking Dead" data-oid="RR_MP13" href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/08/22/walking-dead-norman-reedus-naked"> Norman Reedus got naked on set of The Walking Dead </a> <img src="http://imagesvc.timeincapp.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ew.com%2Fsites%2Fdefault%2Ffiles%2Fstyles%2Ftout_image_612x380%2Fpublic%2Fi%2F2016%2F07%2F19%2Ftwd_614_gp_1021_0086-rt.jpg&h=70&w=70&c=sc&poi=auto" /> </li> </ol> </section> <div class="OUTBRAIN" data-src="http://www.ew.com" data-widget-id="HPC_2" data-ob-template="ew" ></div> <section class="threecol block-photos tout612x380with100x100s clear"> <h2>Photo Galleries</h2> <div class="hero"> <div class="tout"> <div class="imgcont"> <a data-title="19 of the Best '7th Heaven' Guest Stars" data-oid="S2_1" class="imageHolder" href="http://www.ew.com/gallery/7th-heaven-guest-stars"> <img typeof="foaf:Image" src="http://www.ew.com/sites/default/files/styles/tout_image_612x380/public/1471960951/Keri-Russell.jpg?itok=7XUeuuCY" width="612" height="380" alt="" title="" /> </a> </div> <div class="txtcont"> <a data-title="19 of the Best '7th Heaven' Guest Stars" data-oid="S2_1" class="toutTitle" 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20:18:08 0000 --> <div id="ew-featured-widget-external" class="widget widget_ewcom_featured_widget"><h2 class="widgettitle">FanWatch</h2> <ol id="community_featured_items"> <li> <a href="http://community.ew.com/2016/08/25/selfie-recap-a-little-yelp-from-my-friends/"> <div class="tout"> <div class="imgcont"> <img class='ew-lazy-load' data-src='http://community.ew.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Selfie-season-1-episode-3-office-Eliza-100x100.png' src='http://img2-1.timeinc.net/ew/static/i/blank.png' alt=''Selfie' nostalgia recap: On trying (and failing) to make friends' width='100' height='100' /> </div> <!-- imgcont --> <div class="txtcont"> <span class="headline"> 'Selfie' nostalgia recap: On trying (and failing) to make friends </span> <span class="author">Kayleigh Roberts, Community Featured Contributor</span> </div> <!-- txtcont --> </div> <!-- tout --> </a> </li> <li> <a href="http://community.ew.com/2016/08/25/new-girl-season-5-2/"> <div class="tout"> <div class="imgcont"> <img class='ew-lazy-load' data-src='http://community.ew.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Screen-Shot-2016-08-25-at-1.59.03-PM-100x100.png' src='http://img2-1.timeinc.net/ew/static/i/blank.png' alt='Catching up with 'New Girl'' width='100' height='100' /> </div> <!-- imgcont --> <div class="txtcont"> <span class="headline"> Catching up with 'New Girl' </span> <span class="author">Lincee Ray, Community Featured Contributor</span> </div> <!-- txtcont --> </div> <!-- tout --> </a> </li> <li> <a href="http://community.ew.com/2016/08/24/30-rock-vs-parks-and-recreation/"> <div class="tout"> <div class="imgcont"> <img class='ew-lazy-load' data-src='http://community.ew.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Screen-Shot-2016-08-23-at-5.16.53-PM-100x100.png' src='http://img2-1.timeinc.net/ew/static/i/blank.png' alt='Showdown: '30 Rock' vs. 'Parks and Recreation'' width='100' height='100' /> </div> <!-- imgcont --> <div class="txtcont"> <span class="headline"> Showdown: '30 Rock' vs. 'Parks and Recreation' 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<!-- Primary Display Ad, 300x250, 300x600 --> <div class="regular-multi-ads-block"> <!-- ew_regular_ad:Desktop - Article Primary Display Ad Right rail:74 --> <div class="ad-placeholder" id="ad-slot-f4c7cdf9-6919-4ce9-8e89-47a6cf689a81" data-ad-id="" data-ad-name="ad-slot-f4c7cdf9-6919-4ce9-8e89-47a6cf689a81" data-ad-width="300" data-ad-height="600" data-ad-package="" data-ad-channel="" data-ad-subchannel="" data-ad-contentpage="false" data-ad-contenttype="" data-ad-multisize="true" data-ad-sizes="['300x250','300x600']" data-ad-companion="" data-ad-zone="" data-ad-cmpos="" data-ad-cmtyp="" data-ad-pos="1" style="" ></div> </div> <img src="http://img5.timeinc.net/keynote/above_the_fold_1x1.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /> <img src="http://img5.timeinc.net/keynote/above_the_fold_1x1.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /> <img src="http://img5.timeinc.net/keynote/above_the_fold_1x1.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /> <section class="block-latest_videos"> <h2>What We're Watching</h2> <ul> <li class="tout clear news has-image"> <div class="imgcont"> <a href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/08/26/hulu-hot-list-best-book-screen-adaptations"> <img typeof="foaf:Image" src="http://www.ew.com/sites/default/files/styles/tout_image_612x380/public/i/2015/08/23/the-strain-150823.jpg?itok=5RnEiCA-" width="612" height="380" alt="" title="" /> </a> </div> <div class="txtcont"> <a href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/08/26/hulu-hot-list-best-book-screen-adaptations"> <span class="headline">Hulu Hot List: The best book-to-screen adaptations</span> <div class="play-button"> <i></i> </div> </a> </div> </li> <li class="tout clear tv has-image"> <div class="imgcont"> <a href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/08/27/nicole-scherzinger-britney-spears-x-factor"> <img typeof="foaf:Image" src="http://www.ew.com/sites/default/files/styles/tout_image_612x380/public/i/2016/08/27/nichole-scherzinger-britney-spears.jpg?itok=mFuSFhfY" width="612" height="380" alt="" title="" /> </a> </div> <div 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class="imgcont"> <a href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/08/27/kanye-west-famous-art-exhibit-debuts"> <img typeof="foaf:Image" src="http://www.ew.com/sites/default/files/styles/tout_image_612x380/public/1472319868/Screen%20Shot%202016-08-27%20at%201.44.07%20PM.png?itok=UIO-9_WZ" width="612" height="380" /> </a> </div> <div class="txtcont"> <a href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/08/27/kanye-west-famous-art-exhibit-debuts"> <span class="headline">Kanye West's 'Famous' is now an art exhibit</span> <div class="play-button"> <i></i> </div> </a> </div> </li> <li class="tout clear music has-image"> <div class="imgcont"> <a href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/08/27/justin-moore-tells-fan-off"> <img typeof="foaf:Image" src="http://www.ew.com/sites/default/files/styles/tout_image_612x380/public/i/2016/08/27/justin-moore.jpg?itok=h5yjp9E-" width="612" height="380" alt="" title="" /> </a> </div> <div class="txtcont"> <a href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/08/27/justin-moore-tells-fan-off"> 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src="http://www.ew.com/sites/default/files/styles/tout_image_612x380/public/i/2016/08/27/heath-ledger.jpg?itok=0G3GlF5F" width="612" height="380" alt="" title="" /> </a> </div> <div class="txtcont"> <a href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/08/27/dark-knight-heath-ledger"> <span class="headline">'The Dark Knight' video essay explores Heath Ledger's Joker</span> <div class="play-button"> <i></i> </div> </a> </div> </li> </ul> </section> <div class="regular-single-ad-block"> <!-- ew_regular_ad:Desktop - Latest Video News Takeover:108 --> <div class="ad-placeholder" id="ad-slot-f0889f2e-ac9d-4965-8251-9e5c9d649358" data-ad-id="" data-ad-name="ad-slot-f0889f2e-ac9d-4965-8251-9e5c9d649358" data-ad-width="300" data-ad-height="250" data-ad-package="" data-ad-channel="" data-ad-subchannel="" data-ad-contentpage="false" data-ad-contenttype="" data-ad-multisize="false" data-ad-sizes="['300x250']" data-ad-companion="" data-ad-zone="" data-ad-cmpos="" data-ad-cmtyp="" data-ad-pos="3" style="" ></div> </div> <img src="http://img5.timeinc.net/keynote/above_the_fold_1x1.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /> <img src="http://img5.timeinc.net/keynote/above_the_fold_1x1.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /> <section class="block threecol block-latest_recaps"> <h2>TV Recaps</h2> <ul> <li> <a data-title="'Queen of the South' recap: 'Esta Cosa Que Es Nuestra'" data-oid="S1A_RR1" href="http://www.ew.com/recap/queen-of-the-south-season-1-episode-10"> 'Queen of the South' recap: 'Esta Cosa Que Es Nuestra' <span class="recap-airdate">Aired on Thursday, Aug 25</span> </a> </li> <li> <a data-title="'Big Brother' recap: Beauties and the Beast" data-oid="S1A_RR2" href="http://www.ew.com/recap/big-brother-season-18-episode-31"> 'Big Brother' recap: Beauties and the Beast <span class="recap-airdate">Aired on Thursday, Aug 25</span> </a> </li> <li> <a data-title="'American Gothic' recap: 'The Veteran in a New Field'" data-oid="S1A_RR3" 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