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Image Credit: Justin Lubin/NBC

'Undateable' recap: Live out loud

Season 1 | Episode 5 | “My Hero Is Me” | Aired June 12, 2014

It’s episode 5, and we open with the mentor congratulating his Baby Bird on scoring with the beautiful woman making breakfast in the kitchen. One “undateable” down. Three to go. NBC had better slow down with all the wonderful dating advice, or they will have to change all of their marketing materials for the fall lineup.

Burski is irritated that Justin no longer hangs out with his boys and wonders when the catchphrase became “hoes before bros.” Danny gently explains to the guys that Justin is dealing with something they don’t understand — a sex life. Brett seems to be the only one not comprehending the magnitude of this statement, so Danny puts it into a different perspective. Would he ditch the fellas if a Spartan from 300 needed help washing his abs? Brett yields. Point taken.

Back at the house, Danny makes fun of Justin for staying home to watch movies with Nicki. Justin retorts, “Why do you care? You’re here with your girlfriend!”

NEVER USE THE G-WORD, BABY BIRD. HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?

Justin feels sorry for Danny. Baby Bird is not whipped. Baby Bird can do what he wants. And he wants to tell Nicki that he loves her.

Of course, Nicki walks up in her cutie pajamas at that exact same moment with a look of sheer terror on her face. Caught in the moment, she answers, “Cool.”

It’s time for damage control.

Danny tries to fix the situation using a very visual analogy about a bird and a cat. Ironically, Baby Bird was the cat, and Nicki was the bird. There was some counseling on how to ignore the bird, but the lesson ended with the cat eating the winged creature. I was lost. Justin wasn’t interested. He’s not scared. He lives out loud. And if he wanted, he would ask Nicki to move in with him.

Cue Nicki walking up at that exact moment. Eyes wide. Sheer terror. Take two.

Justin: “Someone put a bell on that girl!” (Best line of the night.)

Later Nicki asks Justin for some alone time to talk. Assuming that she is going to profess her undying love for him, Justin makes a big production of telling Danny to watch, as he leaves the bar using his best cocky walk. This included a well-timed pivot and finger guns, which distract him enough to cause a graceful trip on the stairs. He owned the fall. Because he was falling in love.

Justin arranges his cell phone to capture this moment on video forever. But instead of dropping the three little words he wants to hear, Nicki tells him she’s leaving Detroit to go take care of her mother. CUT!

Danny instructs Justin to bury the feelings and move on with his life, but Justin is too scared that he will never find someone like Nicki again. Danny fills him with enough encouragement that by the end of the conversation, Justin is convinced he could date a model, a dancer or that chick from The Good Wife.

Leslie is disappointed to hear that Danny gave his Baby Bird such bad advice. How is Danny supposed to know what love is? Clearly it’s a battlefield. And he would know that if he had dated anyone longer than a month.

Danny finds Justin moping on the couch, watching his broken-heart video on his phone and singing Meatloaf’s epic anthem “I Would Do Anything for Love.” He commands his protege to go down to the bar and tell Nicki how he feels. Justin doesn’t move, but instead mumbles broken lyrics to his phone. Danny threatens to pick him up and drag him to the bar. Justin’s low center of gravity proves Danny to be a weakling. He may do anything for love, but he won’t do that. No, no. He won’t do that.

So Danny calls for reinforcements. Burski, Brett and Shelly each grab an appendage and literally carry him to the bar and double as human barriers when he tries to escape. They force him to come clean with Nicki. It was an entertaining act of physical comedy by all the guys in the cast.

Justin tells Nicki that he hates that she’s leaving, but he loves the compassionate heart behind the reason why she has to go. He tells her he loves her, and she says it right back. They celebrate for 48 hours before he becomes “undateable” again.

In other news, Brett and Shelly have created a new drinking game. Whenever Burski touches Leslie, they take a drink. It’s a great way to get very drunk very fast. In order not to become alcoholics, the game is soon changed to something a little more manageable. And embarrassing. Whenever Burski randomly touches Leslie, the guys must reveal a fact that Burski would rather remain untold. Throughout the course of the episode, we learn that Burski was breast-fed until he was eight, he pees sitting down and his first three kisses were all cousins at a family reunion.

Here’s hoping that Burski is the next pupil to score a date, because I’m not sure I can handle hearing about the various skeletons in his closet!

Undateable Quotables

[Nicki takes off early. Brett looks annoyed.]
Justin: When you start having morning sex with me, you can leave early too.
Brett: OK, I’m going to call your bluff. Topsies!

Danny: You can’t toss g-bombs out there. I haven’t named her boobs yet. I’m thinking Kathie Lee and Hoda, because they are so perky in the morning!

Danny: What did you do when she told you she was leaving?
Justin: I acted like a man. A crying, screaming, dry-heaving man.

Undateable, rated TV-14, airs Thursdays at 9/8 C on NBC.

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Cover Battle! 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" data-oid="FC_1" class="imageHolder" href="http://www.ew.com/special/fall-tv-cover-battle"> <div class="txt-content"> <p class="channel"></p> <h2>Vote in the Final Round of EW's Fall TV Cover Battle! </h2> <p></p> </div> <div class="imageCrop"> <img typeof="foaf:Image" src="http://www.ew.com/sites/default/files/styles/tout_image_612x380/public/i/2016/07/05/falltv_612x380.jpg?itok=8OgtXmRA" width="612" height="380" alt="" title="" /> </div> </a> </li> <li> <a data-title="First Look: Jake Gyllenhaal, Amy Adams in 'Nocturnal Animals'" data-oid="FC_2" class="imageHolder" href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/07/25/nocturnal-animals-jake-gyllenhaal-amy-adams-first-look"> <div class="txt-content"> <p class="channel">Movies</p> <h2>First Look: Jake Gyllenhaal, Amy Adams in 'Nocturnal Animals'</h2> <p></p> </div> <div class="imageCrop"> <img typeof="foaf:Image" src="http://www.ew.com/sites/default/files/styles/tout_image_612x380/public/i/2016/07/22/jake-1.jpg?itok=H5bVa-nL" width="612" height="380" alt="" title="" /> </div> </a> </li> <li> <a data-title="WATCH: New 'T2: Trainspotting' teaser brings back original cast" data-oid="FC_3" class="imageHolder" href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/07/25/trainspotting-t2-teaser"> <div class="txt-content"> <p class="channel">Movies</p> <h2>WATCH: New 'T2: Trainspotting' teaser brings back original cast</h2> <p></p> </div> <div class="imageCrop"> <img typeof="foaf:Image" src="http://www.ew.com/sites/default/files/styles/tout_image_612x380/public/i/2016/07/25/trainspotting-2.jpg?itok=B6ZvmOks" width="612" height="380" alt="" title="" /> </div> </a> </li> <li> <a data-title="David Spade to host 'Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe'" data-oid="FC_4" class="imageHolder" href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/07/25/comedy-central-roast-rob-lowe-david-spade-host-roastmaster"> <div class="txt-content"> <p class="channel">TV</p> <h2>David Spade to host 'Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe'</h2> <p>Special to air on Labor Day </p> </div> <div class="imageCrop"> <img typeof="foaf:Image" src="http://www.ew.com/sites/default/files/styles/tout_image_612x380/public/i/2016/07/25/rob-lowe_0.jpg?itok=o-TpQLA0" width="612" height="380" alt="" title="" /> </div> </a> </li> </ul> </div> </section> <div class="inner-col left-col"> <section class="block-latest_news"> <h2>Latest News</h2> <ul> <li class="tout clear tv has-image video"> <div class="imgcont"> <a data-title="'One Tree Hill' cast sings theme song at karaoke-filled reunion" data-oid="RR_LN1" href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/07/25/one-tree-hill-cast-reunites-karaoke"> <img typeof="foaf:Image" src="http://www.ew.com/sites/default/files/styles/tout_image_612x380/public/1468331058/TCDONTR_EC095_H_0.jpg?itok=My8IM1JY" width="612" height="380" alt="" title="" /> </a> </div> <div class="txtcont"> <a data-title="'One Tree Hill' cast sings theme song at karaoke-filled reunion" data-oid="RR_LN1" href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/07/25/one-tree-hill-cast-reunites-karaoke"> <span class="channel">TV</span> <span class="headline">'One Tree Hill' cast sings theme song at karaoke-filled reunion</span> <div class="play-button"> <i></i> </div> <span class="pub-date">12 minutes ago</span> </a> </div> </li> <li class="tout clear tv has-image no-video"> <div class="imgcont"> <a data-title="'SNL' alum Mike O'Brien opens up about cancer scare" data-oid="RR_LN2" href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/07/25/mike-obrien-snl-cancer-surgeries-instagram"> <img typeof="foaf:Image" src="http://www.ew.com/sites/default/files/styles/tout_image_380x380/public/i/2016/07/25/mike-o-brien_0.jpg?itok=LMN4He5q" width="380" height="380" alt="" title="" /> </a> </div> <div class="txtcont"> <a data-title="'SNL' alum Mike O'Brien opens up about cancer scare" data-oid="RR_LN2" href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/07/25/mike-obrien-snl-cancer-surgeries-instagram"> <span class="channel">TV</span> <span class="headline">'SNL' alum Mike O'Brien opens up about cancer scare</span> <span 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href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/07/25/donald-trump-president-we-asked-celebs"> <span class="channel">News</span> <span class="headline">WATCH: Which TV character would make the best president?</span> <div class="play-button"> <i></i> </div> <span class="pub-date">1 hour ago</span> </a> </div> </li> <li class="tout clear news has-image no-video"> <div class="imgcont"> <a data-title="Donald Trump Reddit AMA announced for Wednesday" data-oid="RR_LN11" href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/07/25/donald-trump-reddit-ama"> <img typeof="foaf:Image" src="http://www.ew.com/sites/default/files/styles/tout_image_380x380/public/i/2016/07/25/donald-trump_0.jpg?itok=LoZkXX4A" width="380" height="380" alt="" title="" /> </a> </div> <div class="txtcont"> <a data-title="Donald Trump Reddit AMA announced for Wednesday" data-oid="RR_LN11" href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/07/25/donald-trump-reddit-ama"> <span class="channel">News</span> <span class="headline">Donald Trump Reddit AMA announced for 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href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/07/23/comic-con-once-upon-time-panel"> Once Upon a Time casts Aladdin and Jafar </a> <img src="http://cdn.media.content.onebot.timeinc.com/com/ew/www/sites/default/files/styles/tout/image/612x380/public/i/2016/07/23/jafar-aladdin.jpg.resize.320.jpg" /> </li> <li class="clear"> <i class="number"></i> <a data-title="Box office report: Star Trek Beyond numbers nearly triple Lights Out, Ice Age: Collision Course" data-oid="RR_MP13" href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/07/24/star-trek-beyond-weekend-box-office"> Box office report: Star Trek Beyond numbers nearly triple Lights Out, Ice Age: Collision Course </a> <img src="http://cdn.media.content.onebot.timeinc.com/com/ew/www/sites/default/files/styles/tout/image/612x380/public/i/2016/05/19/star-trek-beyond-0/0/0/0/0.jpg.resize.320.jpg" /> </li> <li class="clear"> <i class="number"></i> <a data-title="John Oliver: Donald Trump's GOP convention pushed 'feelings over facts'" data-oid="RR_MP13" 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class="txtcont"> <a data-title="Comic-Con 2016: Celebs at the Biggest Day 4 Panels" data-oid="S2_1" class="toutTitle" href="http://www.ew.com/gallery/comic-con-2016-day-4-celebrities-panels"> Comic-Con 2016: Celebs at the Biggest Day 4 Panels </a> </div> </div> <div class="tout"> <div class="imgcont"> <a data-title="'Friends': See the Cast's Evolution Over 10 Years" data-oid="S2_2" class="imageHolder" href="http://www.ew.com/gallery/friends-photos-evolution"> <img typeof="foaf:Image" src="http://www.ew.com/sites/default/files/styles/tout_image_612x380/public/i/2016/07/15/friends-evolution-image-tout.jpg?itok=B0hA5HlX" width="612" height="380" alt="" title="" /> </a> </div> <div class="txtcont"> <a data-title="'Friends': See the Cast's Evolution Over 10 Years" data-oid="S2_2" class="toutTitle" href="http://www.ew.com/gallery/friends-photos-evolution"> 'Friends': See the Cast's Evolution Over 10 Years </a> </div> </div> <div class="tout"> <div class="imgcont"> <a data-title="This Is What 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href="http://www.ew.com/gallery/comic-con-2016-marvel-studios-portraits"> Comic-Con 2016: See Portraits of Marvel Studios Stars </a> </div> </div> </div> </section> <div class="ew-community-wrapper"> <a href="http://community.ew.com" class="whats-this">what's this?</a> <!-- Rendered: Mon, 25 Jul 2016 17:33:08 0000 --> <div id="ew-featured-widget-external" class="widget widget_ewcom_featured_widget"><h2 class="widgettitle">FanWatch</h2> <ol id="community_featured_items"> <li> <a href="http://community.ew.com/2016/07/23/general-hospital-valentins-villainous-ways/"> <div class="tout"> <div class="imgcont"> <img class='ew-lazy-load' data-src='http://community.ew.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/GH_JonLindstrom_GenieFrancis-100x100.jpg' src='http://img2-1.timeinc.net/ew/static/i/blank.png' alt=''General Hospital' fan recap: Dead again?' width='100' height='100' /> </div> <!-- imgcont --> <div class="txtcont"> <span class="headline"> 'General Hospital' fan recap: Dead again? </span> <span class="author">Karen Belgrad, Community Contributor</span> </div> <!-- txtcont --> </div> <!-- tout --> </a> </li> <li> <a href="http://community.ew.com/2016/07/22/the-flash-5-villains-we-want-to-see-season-3/"> <div class="tout"> <div class="imgcont"> <img class='ew-lazy-load' data-src='http://community.ew.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/the-flash-season-2-costume-crop-100x100.jpg' src='http://img2-1.timeinc.net/ew/static/i/blank.png' alt='5 villains we want to see on 'The Flash' season 3' width='100' height='100' /> </div> <!-- imgcont --> <div class="txtcont"> <span class="headline"> 5 villains we want to see on 'The Flash' season 3 </span> <span class="author">FanSided, Community Contributor</span> </div> <!-- txtcont --> </div> <!-- tout --> </a> </li> <li> <a href="http://community.ew.com/2016/07/21/young-hungry-recap-sofia/"> <div class="tout"> <div class="imgcont"> <img class='ew-lazy-load' data-src='http://community.ew.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/YH-408-sofia-logan-100x100.png' src='http://img2-1.timeinc.net/ew/static/i/blank.png' alt=''Young & Hungry' catch of the week: The devil wears clickbait' width='100' height='100' /> </div> <!-- imgcont --> <div class="txtcont"> <span class="headline"> 'Young & Hungry' catch of the week: The devil wears clickbait </span> <span class="author">Reed Gaudens, Community Contributor</span> </div> <!-- txtcont --> </div> <!-- tout --> </a> </li> <li> <a href="http://community.ew.com/2016/07/18/the-fosters-now-for-then-recap/"> <div class="tout"> <div class="imgcont"> <img class='ew-lazy-load' data-src='http://community.ew.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/404-1-main-100x100.jpg' src='http://img2-1.timeinc.net/ew/static/i/blank.png' alt='‘The Fosters’ fan recap: Adulting and second chances' width='100' height='100' /> </div> <!-- imgcont --> <div class="txtcont"> <span class="headline"> ‘The Fosters’ fan recap: Adulting and second 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style="" ></div> </div> <img src="http://img5.timeinc.net/keynote/above_the_fold_1x1.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /> <img src="http://img5.timeinc.net/keynote/above_the_fold_1x1.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /> <img src="http://img5.timeinc.net/keynote/above_the_fold_1x1.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /> <section class="block-latest_videos"> <h2>What We're Watching</h2> <ul> <li class="tout clear tv has-image"> <div class="imgcont"> <a href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/07/22/comic-con-2016-hulu-binge-guide"> <img typeof="foaf:Image" src="http://www.ew.com/sites/default/files/styles/tout_image_612x380/public/i/2016/05/18/joel-mchale.jpg?itok=CyM34fl6" width="612" height="380" alt="" title="" /> </a> </div> <div class="txtcont"> <a href="http://www.ew.com/article/2016/07/22/comic-con-2016-hulu-binge-guide"> <span class="headline">Hulu Hot List: Get excited for Comic-Con with these 5 shows to binge</span> <div class="play-button"> <i></i> </div> </a> </div> </li> <li 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id="ad-slot-f0889f2e-ac9d-4965-8251-9e5c9d649358" data-ad-id="" data-ad-name="ad-slot-f0889f2e-ac9d-4965-8251-9e5c9d649358" data-ad-width="300" data-ad-height="250" data-ad-package="" data-ad-channel="" data-ad-subchannel="" data-ad-contentpage="false" data-ad-contenttype="" data-ad-multisize="false" data-ad-sizes="['300x250']" data-ad-companion="" data-ad-zone="" data-ad-cmpos="" data-ad-cmtyp="" data-ad-pos="3" style="" ></div> </div> <img src="http://img5.timeinc.net/keynote/above_the_fold_1x1.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /> <img src="http://img5.timeinc.net/keynote/above_the_fold_1x1.gif" alt="" width="1" height="1" /> <section class="block threecol block-latest_recaps"> <h2>TV Recaps</h2> <ul> <li> <a data-title="'BrainDead' recap: 'Back to Work'" data-oid="S1A_RR1" href="http://www.ew.com/recap/braindead-season-1-episode-5"> 'BrainDead' recap: 'Back to Work' <span class="recap-airdate">Aired on Sunday, Jul 24</span> </a> </li> <li> <a data-title="'Roadies' recap: 'Friends and Family'" data-oid="S1A_RR2" href="http://www.ew.com/recap/roadies-season-1-episode-5"> 'Roadies' recap: 'Friends and Family' <span class="recap-airdate">Aired on Sunday, Jul 24</span> </a> </li> <li> <a data-title="'Power' recap: 'It's Never Over'" data-oid="S1A_RR3" href="http://www.ew.com/recap/power-season-3-episode-2"> 'Power' recap: 'It's Never Over' <span class="recap-airdate">Aired on Sunday, Jul 24</span> </a> </li> <li> <a data-title="'The Night Of' recap: 'A Dark Crate'" data-oid="S1A_RR4" href="http://www.ew.com/recap/the-night-of-season-1-episode-3"> 'The Night Of' recap: 'A Dark Crate' <span class="recap-airdate">Aired on Sunday, Jul 24</span> </a> </li> <li> <a data-title="'Preacher' recap: 'Finish the Song'" data-oid="S1A_RR5" href="http://www.ew.com/recap/preacher-season-1-episode-9"> 'Preacher' recap: 'Finish the Song' <span class="recap-airdate">Aired on Sunday, Jul 24</span> </a> </li> <li> <a data-title="'Ray Donovan' recap: 'Get Even Before Leavin''" data-oid="S1A_RR6" href="http://www.ew.com/recap/ray-donovan-season-4-episode-5"> 'Ray Donovan' recap: 'Get Even Before Leavin'' <span class="recap-airdate">Aired on Sunday, Jul 24</span> </a> </li> <li> <a data-title="'Big Brother' recap: James and the Giant Breach" data-oid="S1A_RR7" href="http://www.ew.com/recap/big-brother-season-18-episode-16"> 'Big Brother' recap: James and the Giant Breach <span class="recap-airdate">Aired on Sunday, Jul 24</span> </a> </li> <li> <a data-title="'RHONJ' recap: 'Leopard Is the New Black'" data-oid="S1A_RR8" href="http://www.ew.com/recap/the-real-housewives-of-new-jersey-season-7-episode-3"> 'RHONJ' recap: 'Leopard Is the New Black' <span class="recap-airdate">Aired on Sunday, Jul 24</span> </a> </li> <li> <a data-title="'The Great British Baking Show' recap: 'Alternative Ingredients' / 'Pastry'" data-oid="S1A_RR9" href="http://www.ew.com/recap/the-great-british-baking-show-season-3-episode-5-6"> 'The Great British Baking Show' recap: 'Alternative Ingredients' / 'Pastry' <span class="recap-airdate">Aired on Friday, Jul 22</span> </a> </li> <li> <a data-title="'Big Brother' recap: 'Friday Night's Alright for Battling'" data-oid="S1A_RR10" href="http://www.ew.com/recap/big-brother-season-18-episode-15"> 'Big Brother' recap: 'Friday Night's Alright for Battling' <span class="recap-airdate">Aired on Friday, Jul 22</span> </a> </li> <li> <a data-title="'Big Brother' recap: Don't Rain on My Kiki" data-oid="S1A_RR11" href="http://www.ew.com/recap/big-brother-season-18-episode-14"> 'Big Brother' recap: Don't Rain on My Kiki <span class="recap-airdate">Aired on Thursday, Jul 21</span> </a> </li> </ul> </section> </div> </div> </div> </article> </div> </div> </main> <footer id="footer" class="footer" role="contentinfo"> <div id="partnerbar-bottom"> <h3><span class="from-our">From Our</span> Partners</h3> <div id="footer-partners" class="clear"> <div id="zergnet-widget-24479"></div> </div> </div> <div class="cm-footer-banner"> <!-- 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