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'Awkward.' recap: I've got nothing, Hamilton!

Season 4 | Episode 9 | “My Personal Statement” | Aired June 10, 2014

With Matty and Eva together, Jenna is of course trying her best to ignore her feelings and focus on her future. When thoughts turn to college, she realizes that she and her best friend, Tamara, may be headed down different paths. At the beginning of the episode, she invites Tamara over so the two can have some serious bonding time. Feeling excited for their “bestie festie,” Matty and Eva are seen walking down the hall in slo-mo, holding hands, looking hot and confident. Despite their good looks, there is something so inherently odd and phony about Matty and Eva, like they’re more concerned with showing off rather than caring for each other. Anyway, they stop in front of Jenna, where Matty abruptly asks her about his personal statement. Jenna promises to send it to him later.

Our favorite guidance counselor, Val, is nervous about her upcoming high school reunion. She seeks out Jenna’s mom for advice on what to wear and who she hopes to see. “The stress of going to my reunion is clouding my judgment a little,” says Val. Stevie Shay, “the hottest hottie in class,” better watch out!

awkward bestie festie gif

In Jenna’s room, Tamara and Jenna are having the aforementioned bestie festie. Jenna complains about having to send Matty his essay. Tamara comments on Matty’s obvious “bad-ttitude.” Jenna admits that she can’t help but care that Matty is being mean to her, as much as she tries to brush it off.

Luke crashes the bestie festie, and Tamara suggests they all go out. While out, they bump into Matty and Eva. Matty is instantly annoyed that Jenna is out when she hasn’t sent him his essay yet, telling her, “You have no clue how selfish you’re being right now.” Whoa, way harsh, Matty. Fix your own damn essay. Jenna has almost the same response. Matty knows where his essay is: on Jenna’s laptop in her room. Instead of leaving, she suggests that he go and get it himself. Why oh why would Jenna think it’s a good idea to let her ex-boyfriend and his new, untrustworthy girl (who literally admitted to having a past shoplifting offense a week ago) into her bedroom alone?

All glammed up, Val hits her high school reunion with Jenna’s mom. She meets up with Stevie, who disappoints her with how “boring” he is. It helps Val realize that being “supermodel Val” isn’t worth it; just being herself is more than enough. “For the record, I kind of love the real Val,” says Jenna’s mom. So do we.

In Jenna’s room, Matty sends his essay from her laptop to himself. He closes the laptop, ready to leave, but sees Eva with a mischievous glint in her eye as she sits on Jenna’s bed. Uh-oh. Reminding Matty that he promised her dessert, Eva pulls Matty down, and they begin making out on the bed. Matty quickly stops her, not wanting to mess around in Jenna’s room. “This is weird,” he tells Eva. Yes, it is WEIRD!

Eva apologizes and tells him that she can’t help but feel like she’s always competing with Jenna. Matty assures her that she’s not and pulls her to leave Jenna’s room. Once out the door, Eva lies and tells Matty that she left her phone in the room. Matty is waiting outside, while Eva plants her underwear on Jenna’s bed.

Jenna and Tamara end their bestie festie, munching on Twizzlers and watching The Notebook. It’s a nice scene between the friends that isn’t full of drama or hysterics. They reflect on the night they had and promise not to let relationships or college get in the way of their friendship: “We’ll always make time for each other.” T starts tearing up but blames it on the opening credits of the movie. It’s then that T finds Eva’s underwear on the bed.

The next day at school, in front of Sadie and others, Jenna confronts Eva in the hall. She hands Eva back her underwear. Eva acts shocked and embarrassed. Jenna completely shuts Eva down, saying that while her relationship with Matty is rocky, she knows him and he would never f*ck Eva in her bed. “But hey, nice try,” says Jenna as she walks away. Now THIS is the Jenna I’ve been waiting to see all season. Even Sadie is impressed, and exclaims, “I’ve got nothing, Hamilton!”


Awkward. airs Tuesdays at 10/9 C on MTV.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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