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Jennifer Falls, episode 103 (TV Land)

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'Jennifer Falls': Somebody has to feed the falcon

Season 1 | Episode 2 | “Health Club” | Aired June 11, 2014

As if Jennifer hasn’t suffered enough indignities, the episode opens with her car being repossessed. Chasing after the chasingtruck truck dressed in a skimpy exercise outfit, she definitely gets a workout as the driver trades the contents of the car for another block of Jennifer bouncing after him.  Jennifer agrees to the sleazy deal with exasperation. What does she have to lose at this point, anyway? Right?

Next up on the tour of humiliations is a visit from Jennifer’s mother, Maggie, to Wayne’s bar. Jessica Walter is starting to play Maggie like we want to see her: critical, invasive, and coolly and covertly mean. She maggiejenniferbardoles out the mother guilt without the slightest shift in inflection, and her deadpan delivery makes me relieved I’m not one of her children. Without raising an eyebrow, she belittles both children in one swoop, deriding, “I’m just disappointed to see my little MBA working in a seedy dive bar.” Oooh, burn.

However, Maggie can’t waste time belittling Jennifer at the moment, as she has bigger issues at hand: the organization of her son’s baby-making. She says now is the time for them to start because, as she warns, “Look at your hairline, Wayne. Tick-tock.”

maggiewayneWayne stands up to her and thinks he’s beat her at her own game. But little does he know, Maggie did what she does and has influenced Stephanie into wanting a baby right now, despite the five-year plan. Always the thoughtful mother, Maggie presents Wayne and Stephanie with presents to celebrate their compliance: Wayne gets boxers to keep his old sperm cool, and Stephanie gets an ovulation kit. Weirdest present from a mother-in-law ever.

WayneStephAs creepy as it sounds, Maggie loses interest in having a new grandchild when she remembers how much work they are, and Wayne and Stephanie become much more interested in making a baby now that Maggie isn’t micromanaging it. What better circumstances are there to make a baby than dysfunction and heavy-handed manipulation? That’s sexy stuff.

Jennifer is missing her old life, and it becomes especially acute when she finds the membership card to her old health club and spa. When they won’t refund her the money (a whopping six grand!), she sets out to get her money’s worth, even after she denied enjoying it to Dina.

jenn_meanies_spaWhile at the swanky spa, Jennifer runs into Carrie and Francine, former coworkers, and she completely lies to them (What? Me? Live with my mother? No way!) From there, the episode devolves into the aforementioned hijinks. Jennifer tricks the ladies into paying for the expensive dinner by telling them it’s her birthday, but doesn’t end the dinner in time to make it to bowling with Dina. Jennifer shows up just as Dina is leaving the alley.jenndinner

To make up for standing Dina up, Jennifer takes them to the nosebleed section of the Black Keys concert, but runs into Carrie and Francine again. Instead of just coming clean about where she’s sitting and the box of wine she’s carrying, she goes to great lengths to fool them into thinking she is still the old Jennifer. She is so committed to the scheme that she hands off the entire box of unopcheapseatsened wine to a stranger. GASP!

They finally all wind up in the same place. Jennifer is caught in her lies, Three’s Company–style,  and Dina is hurt to realize Jennifer was standing her up again. Jennifer comes clean with the meanies and admits to living with her mom and working in a bar — and says that she’s right where she wants to be. Jennifer and Dina wind up having a heartfelt moment when Jennifer apologizes and agrees to be up front about her lies in the future. Dina seems OK with this, and all is well with the ladies. Dina is a way better friend than I am.inthespa

The episode ends with a very funny scene of the two friends at the spa discussing their made-up estate in Ireland in snooty nasal accents. They both agree that someone has to feed the falcon. Not it.

What do you think about Jennifer? Is she a good friend? Does she deserve Dina? Tweet me your thoughts.

For more about what I think about various shows and such, visit me at Honest Reviews Corner or TV Mega Site.

Jennifer Falls, rated TV-PG, airs Wednesdays at 10:30/9:30 C on TV Land.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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