EW Community TV Show Episode Guides and Recaps from EW's Community


'Hollywood Exes:' A cat in a musty weave

 Season 3 | Episode 6 | Aired June 11, 2014

Remember last week, when I said the ladies of Hollywood Exes knew how to have an awkward conversation? Pretend like I never typed those words. This week was bananas; between Shanna’s mango-smoothie liposuction and Mayte manhandling Jessica for the sake of dialogue, I watched most of this episode through my fingers and with a clenched jaw.

Let’sMangoSmoothie start with Shanna going in for a procedure that she calls “airbrush laser lipo,” and leaving with a jar of her extracted fat that looks like the aforementioned mango smoothie. Take my word for it and do not google this procedure — it’s gross and will probably make you sad. Shanna has declared, in a very socially irresponsible way, that she needs a thigh gap, and that “if we have to suffer to be beautiful, then go for it.” While I’m not usually one to get all preachy and political, I must scold Shanna for buying into this particular brand of beauty indoctrination. Maybe because I’m mad at her for her recent shenanigans, or maybe I am just not down with being fat-shamed because my thighs touch (which they do, by the way). I think it’s a terrible example to set, and I’ll gladly accept the chub rub so I can face myself in the mirror every day. Rant over.

While Shanna and Mayte are taking pictures with Shanna’s mango smoothie, Nicole, Drea and Shamicka are having brunch at Nicole’s insane palace of a house. No joke — it is enormous. Nicole Murphy is winning at life. At the brunch, Nicole surprises the ladies with the news that her real estate friend has “hooked her up” with a beach house in Hawaii, and she wants “all my girls to go.” The record audibly scratches as Drea and Shamicka look dubious at the suggestion,DreasaysNO then proceed to protest, mock and threaten Jessica’s existence if she comes along on the trip. There was talk of a cat in a musty weave. But good ol’ Nicole still wants her friend Jessica to come along, loyal to the bitter end.

As if they haven’t already had enough planning sessions, Sheree, Nicole and Mayte meet again to talk about the “Jessica situation,” but this time they’ve invited Jessica to the intervention, er, conversation. Sheree and Nicole agree that Jessica’s words hurt them, but Nicole is committed to hearing Jessica’s side — ever the diplomat.

JEssicaEyeROllJessica arrives to the meeting, and  at once makes a joke about “walking into the dragon’s lair.” Say what you will about Jessica, but it took some real courage to show her face at that meeting. Talking like she would to a cagey addict, Sheree tells Jessica, “It’s a safe environment,” and “We are people that love you.” Intervention language aside, Jessica offersShereeIntervention2 a weak defense, blaming the situation on Shamicka and Drea’s comments about Austin. But it’s not a real, sincere apology, and she then tries to storm off. That’s when things get weird, thanks to Mayte.

As Jessica goes to leave, Mayte physically restrains her, and I don’t mean the hand-on-the-arm kind of restraining. I am talking full-body, probably-left-bruises kind of restraint. Mayte might weigh a buck-20, but she didn’t let Jessica walk out that door without finishing the conversation. No, sir. Even while Jessica is yelling and screaming, “Let MayteManhandlesme go,” and, “Don’t touch me,” Mayte manhandles Jessica back into the house. The whole time, Mayte is shouting, “It’s coming from love.” Like I said: weird.

Let’s face it. Jessica  kind of deserved it, especially following that remark about Shamicka trying “to be so prissy underneath her ghettoness.” That doesn’t really help Jessica’s case one bit, and Sheree won’t budge in the forgiveness department. She wants Jessica to take ownership of the hurtful things she says, and give a heartfelt apology. That doesn’t happen, but Nicole takes up for her again, suggesting Jessica doesn’t really know how to apologize and be contrite. Oh, Nicole.

While some of the ladies are getting all G.L.O.W., Shanna meets with her therapist to discuss her fear of flying. I can’t really blame her, seeing that her ex was one of two survivors of a fiery plane crash not that long ago. That’s scary, andShannaCrying the therapist validates her fears, and tells her she can claim her tragedy. The therapist creates a mantra she can repeat, but Shanna is open to other means of comfort, claiming, “I’m all about Jesus right now.” I agree. She needs Jesus just about as badly as anyone right now.

Nicole, in a last-ditch effort to reach out to Jessica before they leave for Hawaii, leaves Jessica a message inviting her again, but never hears back. Nicole is concerned at Jessica’s distance and finds it weird she won’t return her calls. Apparently Nicole wasn’t at the same meeting I watched, and didn’t see Jessica get slung around like a rag doll. Keeping her distance seems the best thing for Jessica right now.

HawaiiHouseThe ladies arrive in Hawaii (all except Drea, who missed the flight), and the house is ridiculous. It is so vast, so luxurious, that my middle-class eyes are having a hard time processing the lavishness of this rental home. I just can’t. The ladies dive right into vacation and waste no time starting the festivities. They start drinking and lounging, and pretty soon it becomes apparent who can and who cannot hold her liquor. By the way, drunk Hollywood Exes are my favorite kind.

Mayte slips away to make an awkward call to Humberto, which makes me cringe and reveals some problems in the long-distance relationship. When she shares this with the group, Drunk Sheree (also known as Ree-Ree) calls her out, ShannaHiramand tells her she thinks something is wrong — perhaps Humberto has cold feet. Not much is made out of this, and the ladies continue drinking right up until Hiram, the private chef, begins dinner, at which time Shanna sexually harasses him with an inappropriate grind while the poor guy is trying to preparing their food.

RaggedyAnne2There is talk of “tossed salads” over dinner, and Drunk Sheree becomes increasingly disorderly until she calls it a night and stumbles off to bed. The ladies find her slumped over the toilet, “Raggedy Anne-style,” help her to bed, and then proceed to draw on her face with a marker and snap photos of her in this increasingly compromised position. She’s a much better sport than I; I tend to agree with Shanna. They are “the evilest bunch of bitches I’ve ever met.”

It’s still up in the air whether Jessica will show her face or not. What do you think? Think she’s brave enough? What should the ladies do if she gets there? Can you see Nicole’s side in defending her? Tweet me what you thShereeDrawnink. Let’s hash this out.

For more about what I think about various shows and such, visit me at Honest Reviews Corner or TV Mega Site.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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class="author-text"> <a class="bold author-name" href="/author/elisabeth-vincentelli/">Elisabeth Vincentelli</a> <div class="timestamp published-date padding-12-left"> April 14, 2000 AT 04:00 AM EDT </div> </div> </div> <!-- Article Content --> <div id="article-body" class="article content body clearfix"> <div class="padded"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article__letter-grade"> <span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span> <p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> </div> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile " data-tracking-zone="bottom-recirc" > <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component" data-tracking-zone=outbrain-bottom> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="http://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="ew" > </div> </div> <div id="ad-728x90_FT_td_1" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper desktop-ad tablet-ad " data-dimensions="728x90" data-tgxtargeting="%7B%22ft%22%3A%221%22%7D" data-tgxlazy="200" > </div> <div id="ad-300x250_FT_m_1" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper mobile-ad " data-dimensions="300x250" data-tgxtargeting="%7B%22ft%22%3A%221%22%7D" data-tgxupdatecorrelator="true" data-tgxlazy="200" > </div> <div class="component feed clearfix bottom-recirc" 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