Whoa. Whoa. WHOA. Sorry, but all of the words are tripping over all of the feels when it comes to the Faking It season 1 finale, “Burnt Toast.” Like, to the point that, if the show hadn’t already been blissfully renewed by MTV, I might stroke out right here and now.
WARNING: Spoilers ahead. Big spoilers, like: Who confessed their love in a heartfelt, indirect wedding toast. Who pledged chastity for love. Who got dumped. And who had hot revenge sex. Stop reading now if you don’t want to be spoiled.
First, let’s talk about the sweetest, most amazing moment of the night: Karmy’s dance. There’s a lot of bad ahead, so take a few seconds to relive the glory of their love (whatever kind of love that might be) before we press on.
Now, without further ado, the biggest jaw-drop-, gut-punch- and OMG-inducing moments of the episode, ranked from least likely to make you cry into a pint of raw cookie dough to the most.
6. Lauren gets dumped by Tommy.
Remember last week, when Shane decided to get back at Lauren by outing her pill-popping secret life? Well, we still don’t get to learn why she takes daily meds (because literally every thing about this finale was a cliffhanger), but we do know that she confided in her jock BF Tommy about it and he immediately dumped her. At the wedding, when Amy is reeling from some heartbreak of her own, Lauren lets down her bitch shields for a moment to commiserate about hating exes — while binging on wedding cake, of course.
5. Liam dumps Karma.
Liam is officially addicted to Karma. It’s so un-Liam Booker of him, but he’s hooked. She’s forcing him to sneak around with her because she’s still in a fake relationship with Amy and, well, Amy doesn’t approve of Liam even under the assumption that she and Karma aren’t really together. Liam is suffering such Karma withdrawals, in fact, that he convinces Shane to crash Amy and Lauren’s parents’ wedding with him just so he can make out with her under the tables. Under one such table, he makes her promise that she and Amy are really through and he’s not setting himself up for heartbreak.
So you can imagine his blinding rage when Shane finally tells him that Karma and Amy have been faking it and that Amy isn’t so cool with their secret relationship.
4. Shane agrees to be celibate to date Pablo.
Has the wild love beast that is Shane Harvey finally been tamed? Shane has been pining after Pablo for weeks now (ever since he filled in with Lauren at her ballroom-dancing competition). He’s even been Instagram-stalking the poor guy and projecting his love into weird interpretations of P’s pics (basically, that every single one of them is a secret message to Shane, begging him to love Pablo back). At the wedding, where Pablo is Lauren’s guest, Shane finally confesses his feelings and makes his move, but Pablo has a bombshell to drop first: He’s celibate and waiting for marriage to have sex (even oral, it would seem). Props to Pablo for asking Shane up front if he can wait, but tsk tsk to Shane for not even thinking about it before answering yes and going in for the kiss. I want to believe Shane, I really do, but I foresee this being a big problem for them down the line.
3. Amy confesses her feels for Karma.
At the beginning of the episode, Amy is rehearsing her speech for the wedding and getting feedback from Karma. When toast time comes and Lauren makes everyone teary-eyed in the best way with her speech for the bride and groom, Amy just decides to wing it. The speech turns into a loosely veiled confession to Karma about her feelings.
Like, so loosely veiled, in fact, that even Karma gets the message. Loud and clear.
2. Karma says she doesn’t feel the same way.
If you were squee-ing for joy when Amy finally told Karma how she felt at the wedding, get ready to sob uncontrollably at Karma’s reaction. She isn’t mean. She isn’t angry with Amy or even weirded out by the revelation. She’s just truly, deeply devastated to have to break her best friend’s heart by admitting that she doesn’t feel the same way.
You see that face Amy is making? It’s how we’re all feeling.
1. Amy and Liam’s revenge sex.
After the breakup, Amy drowns her sorrows in cake and champagne, although more of the latter than the former. Meanwhile, Liam is taking the same approach to nursing his pain from breaking up with Karma (everyone is breaking up with Karma tonight and then drinking because of it). When Amy is finally cut off by the caterers, she stumbles out back and sees Liam, who at this point is a mirror for her depression and poor hygiene. And from there … revenge sex. Hot, steamy, disappointing-because-Amy-is-a-lesbian-so-why-is-she-hooking-up-with-a-guy-even-though-we-feel-her-pain sex.
And that’s it. Cut to black and wait a year to find out what happens next. MTV, thou art a heartless bitch.
What did you think of the Faking It finale? Were you devastated? And are you over Karmy as the end-game OTP?