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NurseJackie-609-Full.jpg

Image Credit: David M. Russell/SHOWTIME

'Nurse Jackie' recap: Toes — and the truth — are overrated

Season 6 | Episode 9 | “Candyman” | Aired June 8, 2014

You remember the famous song from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, right? “Who can take a sunrise, sprinkle it with dew, cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two? The candy man, the candy man can.” I’ve given you an earworm now, haven’t I? Sorry, but since the song is at the center of the best scene I’ve seen on Nurse Jackie in weeks, I felt like I should mention it. Plus, let’s be honest: The lyrics can pretty much be a double entendre for Jackie’s entire existence.

Before we get to the song and the scene, let’s start with Jackie and Frank. When we last left the star-crossed lovers, Frank was expressing his concern over Grace moving back in, and Jackie was reacting by locking him out … again. Seems like Frank is attempting to (once again) wave a white flag because he calls Jackie to give her a heads-up about a DEA agent who’ll be stopping by All Saints to investigate Carrie’s stolen DEA number and screen all hospital employees (“Good thing I’m clean and sober,” Jackie responds). Since Jackie has just popped a few pills to help her deal with the stress of being invited to Kevin and Mia’s upcoming nuptials, she’s clearly screwed. I’m just kidding, we all know Jackie — OF COURSE SHE’S NOT.

Later, Jackie is helping Akalitus parallel-park her Mustang in front of the hospital, and in one of her most ridiculous and idiotic stunts to date, Jackie comes up with a plan to get herself out of the DEA screen.

Jackie's foot before

Jackie's foot2

Jackie's foot3

Do not adjust your eyes! That is really Jackie’s foot, placed UNDER THE CAR TIRE by Jackie herself, successfully resulting in broken toes and pain meds, which she gets Akalitus to give her by fibbing about an approved plan where her boss gets to hold onto her prescription meds and be in charge of administering them. Akalitus agrees, but takes the plan to a more dangerous place by lying to Coop about needing the meds herself and excuses Jackie from the DEA agent’s screening. (Watch out, Gloria — I hear those tangled webs are sticky.)

Meanwhile, Naeem, All Saints’ newsstand proprietor, has suddenly died, and a devastated Zoey and Thor take it upon themselves to plan a memorial service. Not only do they fill the hospital chapel with bouquets of flowers left by patients, but they invite Naeem’s entire family, and hire “the crazy street cellist” to play (by trading him a full body scan for his services). Naeem’s son shows up with pockets full of everyone’s favorite candies, as his father had apparently taken his job more to heart than anyone had realized. When the time comes for someone to speak, Zoey prompts Jackie to take the podium (“You’re the only one who knew his name”), but shortly into her speech, Jackie inexplicably breaks down in tears. Coop takes over and, in true Coop fashion, begins reciting the lyrics from “The Candy Man,” which quickly turns into a group sing-along — with my voice joining the group loudly and proudly. I can’t help it. It’s catchy. Plus, it’s making me forget how uncomfortable I am with the layers of Jackie’s lying and scheming. I’ll take candy over conflict any day.

Helen — the homeless, drunk nun who is a recurring patient in the ER and also has a penchant for escaping the hospital — is back. Once again, Carrie is the doctor who has to examine her. Last time, Helen filled Carrie’s cleavage full of puke; this time she gives her lice. Not in Carrie’s cleavage, but in her hair — or at least, that’s what Carrie is worried about and what drives her to Coop’s office for a lice check. The two former lovers have been on a break for so long that the hair exam quickly turns sexual. Watch what happens, and let me go on record as being all for it. I love Coop and Carrie together. Team triple C (Coop, Carrie and Crazy) FOREVER!

http://c.brightcove.com/services/viewer/federated_f9?isVid=1
Later, the two C’s take their crazy to the rooftop and have sex on a hospital bed (successfully getting around their “no sex in the hospital” rule), only to be discovered by a traffic ‘copter.

When Jackie returns home later that night to find Grace snuggled up on the couch next to a teenage boy, she immediately freaks out. The boy turns out to be Frank’s previously estranged son, and Frank appears from the kitchen with his other, younger boy. Turns out Frank finally called them (per Jackie’s repeated suggestion), and he’s there to tell her that he misses her and that things can still be great. I call foul. Foul on the sons so quickly forgiving their father for a year of neglect, foul on Frank for being such a pussy to come running back to Jackie — who locked him out of the house twice — and foul on Jackie, who isn’t even limping on toes crushed by the wheel of a Mustang.

As the episode closes, Jackie opens Kevin and Mia’s wedding invitation, calls someone whom we do not get to see (Antoinette, maybe?) and asks if they’ll go with her. I know one thing is for sure: It’s not Naeem.

Watch Nurse Jackie Sunday nights at 9 p.m. ET on Showtime, and catch more of Michelle’s posts at You’re My Favorite Today. 

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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clearfix"> <div class="padded"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article__letter-grade"> <span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span> <p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it an <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> </div> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile "> <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component"> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="http://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="ew" > </div> </div> <interaction data-token="59d54344f64720010063394c" data-context="true" data-tags="" data-fallback="true"></interaction> <div class="component feed clearfix bottom-recirc" data-endpoint="/element-api/content-proxy/documents"data-request-data="%7B%22count%22%3A6%2C%22crops%22%3A%22thumbnail%2Cmarquee_large_2x%2Capp_list_thumbnail_2x%22%2C%22page%22%3A2%2C%22types%22%3A%22article%2Cgallery%2Crecipe%22%7D"data-partial="tile"data-variation="bottom-recirc"data-flair-size="30"data-type="feed"data-title="You May 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