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'Undateable' recap: Help you I can, yes

Season 1 | Episode 4 | “The Switch” | Aired June 5, 2014

The writers of Undateable wasted no time proving to the audience that Danny is perfectly capable of being the Yoda to Justin’s Luke Skywalker. With the help of his mentor, Baby Bird can now change his Facebook status to “in a relationship.” With this being episode 4, I can only assume that this will not end well, and Justin will be back training in the Dagobah System by running through a swamp with Danny on his back. But for now, Justin is perfectly content singing Destiny’s Child’s greatest hits with Nicki.

Back at the bar, Danny is looking for the next notch in his bedpost when he spies his sister having a drink with Sabrina. We learn that she was Leslie’s college roommate and she’s in town getting her Ph.D. in French Literature. Burski announces that she has an amazing rack, resulting in his exile to a corner booth. She casually ignores Danny before leaving the bar.

Game on.

Leslie will not have her brother sleeping with another one of her friends, only to have him blow them off after one hook-up with her left to clean up the mess like a good sister. Justin assures Leslie that she has nothing to worry about. Sabrina is too smart and sophisticated for Danny.

Double game on.

Back at the house, Danny is intrigued by the pink bear in denim overalls that Nicki left for Justin to keep him company while she went home to visit her family. Danny pretends to understand the sentiment behind Nicki Bear, and begs Justin to help him understand why he can never have the amazing Sabrina. As Justin begins monologuing the heartache of lost loves, Danny bounds in from the bedroom with Sabrina on his back. Perhaps she is his new Jedi.

Danny ribs Justin the next day at the bar, touched that he thought Danny needed advice on women. He brags about details of their time together, including the fact that they met up late the night before and she was gone early this morning. Leslie asked when he was going to see her again and Danny answered that they were going to hang out soon, when her life calms down.

Leslie: “You got Danny’d!”

Danny isn’t buying it. Instead, he heads home to watch Pretty Woman so he can pretend he and Sabrina are the two main characters. Justin is thrilled that Danny is finally smitten over a woman! Upon the realization that he is invested in a romantic comedy because of a girl, Danny hysterically assumes he is dying.

Because Justin is “crushing it” in his own relationship, he asks Sabrina what it would take for her to consider going out with Danny again. He even offers her free drinks for a month. No offense, but Sabrina prefers dating adults.

UndateableDanny walks in and is livid that his friends are trying to negotiate a pity date. Sporting some impressive crazy eyes, Danny warns Justin that payback is coming and it won’t be pretty. In fact, it’s rather drastic, and involves the decapitation of a certain beloved stuffed bear. With a trembling knife and a handful of stuffed animal, Danny concedes to Justin, admitting that Sabrina is out of his league.

Justin gives him a rousing pep talk, convincing Danny that there is one thing he hasn’t tried that ALWAYS works: Be vulnerable. Danny tells Sabrina that he thought they had a connection and that she was the kind of woman he would like to see twice. They make a plan for Thursday.

Justin takes full credit for Danny’s second date, and the tables are momentarily turned when he calls his mentor Baby Bird. This does not go well, and the roommates go around and around in a battle of hilarious name-calling (see quotables), which naturally ends in a bro hug.

In other news, Brett is ready to be out-and-proud gay. He pulls on his favorite hot pink Members Only jacket and demands that his friends make fun of him. Burski and Shelly have no problem piling on the offensive comments, but Justin is still careful. If Justin is really comfortable with Brett, he will take a bubble bath with him like Burski and Shelly did. Cut to Justin moping on one end of a tub while his friend blows bubbles from the other. Brett hoists both legs up on the side, his junk most undoubtedly close to Justin, when he confesses that Burski and Shelly had never bathed with him. The look on Justin’s face is priceless.

Of course, I am thrilled that Brent Morin has another musical interlude this episode. And I’m really interested to see where they take the Sabrina character. Perhaps she can solve the mystery of what Danny does for a living! Except for Jedi knight training, of course.

Undateable Quotables

Justin: This is the most fun I’ve ever had. And I went to space camp.


Danny: When you act cocky, it’s like Tyler Perry without a dress on. People don’t like it.


Justin: That’s not the guy I know. The one I know has complete unearned confidence.
Danny: Yeah. I’ve had it since I was six. That’s when I knew I was better than everybody.
Justin: And you have to hold on to that delusion. Don’t give up.


Danny: There’s no way I would take that from a guy who looks like a guy who would sell massage chairs from Brookstone.
Justin: Well, you look like one of those street thugs that Spider-Man catches.

Danny: You look like one of those animatronic men from “It’s a Small World.”
Justin: You look a guy who watched one episode of Game of Thrones and decided to start doing his hair that way.

Danny: That’s a big deal coming from a guy who looks like a Southwest flight attendant.
Justin: That’s nice to hear from a guy who looks like Jesus if he lived in Seattle.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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