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Image Credit: Syfy

'The Wil Wheaton Project' recap: Nerds, we STILL have a show!

Season 1 | Episode 1.2 | Aired June 3, 2014

Hello, fellow geeks — and for you returning readers, welcome back! (No, really, I appreciate it!)

Let’s get on with the recap.

What’s on the show tonight? Well, according to the “epic voice announcer guy”: Game of Thrones, the premiere of Crossbones, a sexy Salem update and Felicia Day beating Wil to the death. (OMG, Felicia, no!)

Up first? The last scene from last Sunday’s episode of Game of Thrones, with a “slightly less graphic” version. Fingers, eyeballs, Mountain saying things, fingers, eyeballs, GALLAGHER SMASHING A WATERMELON.

For those of you who are still getting over that scene, here’s a little something to make you feel better.

Salem Sex and Violence Recap. Yeah, I have no video for this. But if you read the EW Community Salem recaps, you know what Wil’s talking about.

The success of Maleficent means there’s a slate of new movies with villains as the hero. Personal faves: the boulder from Raiders of the Lost Ark and Freddy Krueger.

Next up? Christian Bale’s Reverse Lozenges! I fell out laughing.

I found video. It’s a little shaky, but it’s amazing.

Also, I love the Internet. Thank you Sherry from SupernaturalWiki, who filmed the TV and uploaded this. You are my people!

Oh, cool, we have a new game. This one’s called “How Will They Bite It?” and here to play is special guest Felicia Day.

The rules are simple. Players watch a clip of someone we know is going to die, and Wil and Felicia guess how they’ll bite it. Got it?

Apparently, Felicia’s a little nervous.

Options for the first one? Fake snakes jumping out of a canteen to hit a guy in the face, or beings from another dimension coming through and biting the guy’s butt off.

Well, the mountain the guy was hiking on just grabbed him and bit his head off, so points to Felicia because the victim may have been a butthead.

Do they make a home version of this game? I would totally play.

Final round?

Aw, darn, no one guessed Mega Python vs. Gatoroid. Dang it, Wil. It was even on Syfy.

Well, it’s all good. It’s a tie, and Wil’s reminding everyone to watch Felicia Day’s new show, Spooked, for Geek and Sundry and Hulu. He hasn’t been asked to be on it yet, but I’m sure we’ll see him soon.

Let’s take a moment for Wil’s Memo, in which we get to see Knockbusters (takeoffs on famous blockbusters) like The Adventures of Thunder Storm: Return of Thor, Womb Raider and Metal Man.

Wow, some of these were terribad.

Here are some highlights from tonight’s show:

Hannibal perfume commercial. (LOVED IT.)

John Malkovich saying, “Tater tots.”

Shout out to Orphan Black‘s Vic the Dick for this week’s and possibly this lifetime’s best face-plant.

faceplant

Shout-out to The Talk for reaching out to the sci-fi community by asking how many of you would be willing to have sex with a robot.

All in all, The Wil Wheaton Project is 30 minutes of geek awesome. Plus, it’s GIF-worthy, which makes this so much fun. Massive thanks to the folks at The Wil Wheaton Project Twitter feed for making those available.

Catch you next week, nerds. Much love. 😉

The Wil Wheaton Project airs Tuesdays at 10/9 C on Syfy.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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