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'Undateable' recap: A pants brother always has your back

Season 1 | Episode 2 | “Pants Buddies” | Aired May 29, 2014

It’s been one week since Justin moved in with Danny, and it has taken no time for him to feel right at home. That includes clacking around the kitchen in cycling shoes, pretending to be the sixth Backstreet Boy performing at Madison Square Garden. Danny mentally adjusts to this rousing wake-up call and stumbles into the kitchen just as Justin finishes the final notes of “I Want It That Way.” Shelly appears out of nowhere looking for a teakettle, while Burski and Brett settle in on the couch with doughnuts. Apparently the Black Eyes crew meets every Sunday for brew.

Danny explains that a very pretty girl is about to enter into the main living space, and he encourages his mentees to play it cool for the 10 seconds it will take her to get from point A to point B. Justin assures Danny that he knows how to play it cool. After all, he just “sang the most vocally challenging Backstreet Boys song without hitting one flat note.”

An attractive blonde picks her way through the vicinity, attempting to not make eye contact with any of the creepy guys looking at her as if she were on display at the zoo. Unable to hold it in any longer, Justin tells the woman that no one is judging her for this walk of shame. In fact, it should be called a walk of choices. Then he offers her an egg sandwich.

According to Justin, there’s nothing cooler than hospitality.

Back at the bar, Danny insists that he and Justin have a discussion about personal boundaries. Justin asks his sister, Leslie, why Danny refuses to let people in. She explains that his personal space has always been a no-cry zone. Then she instructs Justin to never, EVER mention Toy Story 3. Danny’s eyes begin to water as he remembers the toys all holding hands as they head toward the incinerator.


What better way to deflect the attention off of these squishy, gushy emotions than to tutor young Burski on how to strike up a conversation with a new tenant in his building? Danny’s advice? Don’t speak to her. Remember the Little Mermaid? She managed to get a prince to fall in love with her without saying a word. Do something nice, but don’t speak.

UndateableBurski is willing to try, and runs off to “mermaid” his crush. Justin runs off to purposely initiate the awkward “which way are you going?” dance with Nicki. Danny finds this pathetic, grabs Justin’s phone and texts Nicki, asking her out to a movie. Outraged, Justin runs back to Nicki to inform her that he meant to send that text to another Nicki. Thanks to Danny’s meddling, the lie quickly falls apart in front of him, resulting in a twisted web of tales about Justin’s good friend Nick, who just so happens to be an old, blind alcoholic who hates kids.

Meanwhile, Burski scores with the girl from his building by being completely mute. He and the rest of the crew head over to tell Danny the good news, and walk in at the exact time when Justin calls him a loser. Justin is devastated that he said something so hateful about his pants buddy.

What is a “pants buddy”? I’m glad you asked.

Justin was driving Burski to a job interview once when he spilled his coffee all over his slacks. Justin switched pants with him so Burski didn’t have to go into the interview looking disheveled. Since then, they’ve had each other’s backs. Pants buddies.

It takes two seconds before Danny begins to make fun of the “underpants gang.” Justin closes in, asking repeatedly what happened to Danny as a child to make him so obnoxious. Danny senses the invasion of personal boundaries, and shuts the conversation down with one penis joke.

Leslie convinces Danny to invest in Justin and the other guys as real human beings instead of a weird, sexual science project. He heads to the bar to apologize, tosses a glass of red wine on Justin’s pants and offers an even switch: slacks for jeans. He wants to be a pants buddy. He’s totally got his back.

Undateable Quotables

Danny: For this to work, there will be no tap shoes in the house.
Justin: They’re cycling shoes, Danny. You’ll know when I’m wearing my tap shoes.

Burski: I Little Mermaided that chick so hard! I got my first date in months!
Shelly: Truth check.
Burski: In years!

Brett: We talk about you behind your back all the time. No worries.
Justin: What do you say?
Shelly: We talk about your lady hips, button nose and Lego-man hair.

Brett: Are you mermaiding me?
Burski: Yeah — I wanted to see if it works on gay dudes.
Brett: It absolutely did.

Undateable, rated TV-14, airs Thursdays at 9/8 C on NBC.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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