Move over, Kardashians. There’s a new fame-seeking family in town, and starting next week, they will be pulling out all the stops to make us love them — or hate them. (I’m not sure they really care, as long as we know who they are.) Premiering June 3 on the The CW (8–9 p.m. ET), Famous in 12 is an unscripted series/social experiment that will follow one fame-hungry family around the clock for 12 weeks straight as they use their talents, their ambition and, of course, social media in the hopes of being catapulted into popularity. TMZ will be helping them out during their quest for superstardom, and I’ll be right here making sure you don’t miss a single, deliciously dirty detail of it all.
Let’s meet the Artiaga family from Beaumont, California, who have relocated to the City of Angels in hopes of hitting it big.
Angie: Wife, mother, businesswoman, age 43
Angie is a writer of erotic fiction, and in her Twitter bio she tells us that she’s the first author who is bold and sexy enough to pose for the cover of her own novel. Way to be, Oprah. She hopes to one day top the New York Times bestseller list, and is committed to helping her family members achieve their own dreams.
Mike: Husband and father, age 33
Mike is a DJ who hopes to strike it big globally and tour the world as an internationally sought-after DJ (yeah, because that’s a thing). It’s unclear if Mike is the husband of Angie (I’m guessing he is). As for which of the rest of the family Mike has fathered, I can’t say for sure. Based on the ages, I can certainly assume, but I’m sticking with the rule of thumb for that word and don’t want to make an ass out of myself, so I’ll keep my mouth shut until I know for sure. However, due to the fact that Mike followed me and retweeted me on Twitter last week, he’s already my favorite.
Taliah: Eldest daughter, mother of 7-year-old Jordan, age 26
Taliah is a dancer who, according to her Twitter bio, is “a living, breathing doll and a divine work of art blended with an array of exotic colors.” (Sounds like Angie isn’t the only writer of erotic fiction in the family.) Taliah hopes not only to hit it big in the dancing world, but to one day open her own dance school (but I’m sure she’d settle for a judging gig on SYTYCD).
Jameelah: The family wild card, age 22
Jameelah has her heart set on becoming a top fashion model, and is described as the most flamboyant member of the Artiaga family. She’s a self-proclaimed diva who gives herself the title of “Miss Selfie Centered” on Twitter, followed by this quote (her motto?): “I love me, I love life, and I love you.” Looks like the writing gene stopped with Taliah.
Maariyah: Sweet and lovely, age 16
Considered the “quiet one” in the Artiaga family, 16-year-old Maariyah dreams of becoming an international pop star. Judging by the fact that she hadn’t written her overly descriptive Twitter bio as of this posting, she might be in danger of falling behind in this game. (And until she follows me, DJ Mike is still my fave.)
Mike, Jr.: The teenage son, age 15
Like I said, I’m not going to assume who the official father of the older girls is, but I think it’s safe to say that DJ Mike is the father of 15-year-old Mike, Jr., who loves to cook for his family and dreams of becoming a pastry chef. His path is a bit unclear, however, as his Twitter bio tells us he is a model and clothing designer. (Typical 15-year-old, wanting it all.) Whatever he is or wants to be, he’s adorable and I’m already rooting for him.
Aaminah: The preteen daughter, age 12
Like big sis Jameelah, 12-year-old (but looks like 18-year-old) Aaminah hopes to hit it big in the modeling world, and according to her Twitter bio, she’s already well on her way as a “pageant queen.” Pageants? Holy Honey Boo Boo, this show is going to be even better than I thought.
Dove: The youngest daughter, age 6
Dove is described as the “little darling of the family,” and looking at her little cherubic face in the family photo at the top of this post, I’ll have to agree. No word yet on Dove’s fame aspirations, but my fingers are crossed for a Little Miss Sunshine moment at some point over the next 12 weeks.
Jordan: Taliah’s son, age 7
Also off the charts in the cuteness factor is Jordan, who is described as having a “larger-than-life” personality. I’m not sure how much the littlest Artiagas will be featured in this 12-week social experiment, but in spite of their certain charm and precociousness, I’m hoping it’s not too much. We all know how that can turn out.
Grandpa Joel and Grandma Lina: Ages 60 and 63, respectively
I know I said I wouldn’t do it, but judging by the family photo up top, I’m going to assume Grandma Lina isn’t too thrilled with this whole social experiment. She’s described as being “unpredictable” and has her own aspirations as a fashion designer. She already has a head start from making all of Aaminah’s pageant outfits. I already love her.
Will the Artiagas find what they’re looking for? Who knows? But it’s certainly going to be fun to watch them try. Catch the season premiere of Famous in 12 on Tuesday, June 3, on The CW, and make sure to check back here on June 4 for my recap! Let the train
wreck ride begin!