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Image Credit: Submissions Only

'Submissions Only' recap: Piece of cake

Season 3 | Episode 7 | “Chapter #2” | Aired May 26, 2014

Well, after all of the hullabaloo, of course Jeremy’s Fort is a hit. Show business is so darn unpredictable! With another hit under her belt, Linda Avery is undisputedly the most talented director in the biz when it comes to ghost-related productions. Submissions Only very rarely time-jumps, so the monthlong gap between episode 6 and episode 7 is a bit of a shock.

Given the status of the Aaron and Penny situation, the jump makes strategic sense, but it also means the end of Jeremy’s Fort rehearsals. Now that the show has opened, we’re not likely to see any more of the production itself.

Submissions Only is excruciatingly good at teasing us with cockamamie shows and then not letting us see the final product. It’s a brilliant hook that makes the Submissions Only universe even more enthralling.

After a Cameron- and Steven-less episode 6, the happy couple is back in “Chapter #2,” in full wedding planning mode. They rent a swanky apartment to host their engagement party. Cameron is thinking live band and lavish food, Steven is thinking a DJ named Pandora. They do agree on asking Yafit, Penny’s new roommate, to make the cake for the party. The setup for the engagement party suggests that it will be the season finale’s big event. There’s likely to be drama at the party (this is a fictional series, after all), but it won’t come from Cameron and Steven. In the relationship department, Cameron and Steven are hands down the most stable couple on Submissions Only, and are a wonderful backdrop to the drama of all of their friends.

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Every actor loves a good after-show talkback. Who wouldn’t want to be subjected to all those circumlocutory questions that don’t actually relate to the play after working your butt off for three hours? Some of the cast of Jeremy’s Fort are as self-indulgent as the question-askers, but others (namely Serena, Penny and Giddyup Guy #2) look like they’d rather be anywhere else. Penny and Serena look OK from afar, and even Penny’s mom thinks they seem to be dealing with the Aaron thing well, but Tim knows better. Serena is as professional as can be until she pulls out some hand sanitizer to wipe Penny’s cooties off. Classic mean-girl move.

The Jeremy’s Fort talkback provides a couple of miracles.

Miracle #1: Linda and Tim are finally in the same room again. Linda has gotten past the “Tim lying about being straight” thing, probably in part due to her new assistant’s straightness, and is happily enjoying yet another success with Jeremy’s Fort. Linda and Tim’s dynamic is always hilarious; their mutual care for Penny’s well-being is bringing them back onto the same page. Their conversation is expertly intertwined with a question from Broadway’s #1 princess, Laura Osnes, about the Giddyup Guys’ style and why they’ve moved away from the pop style of their first production, Giddyup, which gave them their nickname.

Miracle #2: After an entire season of silence, the mute Giddyup Guy, Alex, has had enough. He speaks! Alex denounces the nickname The Giddyup Guys and makes clear to Laura Osnes and the stunned Jeremy’s Fort cast that he and Dean “are not nor have ever been fun or silly.” It’s still unclear why, throughout the production process, Alex didn’t say a word (except to his partner) — but the mystery is part of what makes the writing duo formerly known as The Giddyup Guys so amazingly funny.

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Back at Tim Trull Casting, Gail is well into her list of complete unknowns for Light Me Up. As she expected, Vincent is loosing steam. Gail did an excellent job of finding people to audition for Vincent. She even brought in an Edison blogger, Laurie (Jenn Harris), who would really enrich the scientific angle of the show, but that’s not really what Vincent is looking for. Tim sneakily brings in his list of people with the excuse that they had some open time. Vincent immediately has an epiphany: Unknowns aren’t the way to go. Rather, they should cast crazy-talented people whom everybody wants to have sex with — that’s what Light Me Up needs (cough — Ben Walker — cough). The show is called Light Me Up, after all, so it’s got to be HOT.

Penny hasn’t talked to Aaron since the big blowout a month ago. He’s tried to get in touch with her, but she won’t return his calls. Out of the many people in Penny’s life trying to give her advice, it’s the directness of Yafit that finally pushes Penny to call Aaron back. As Yafit tells Penny, the alternative to directness is cowardice. On her way to drop off the cake sample to Steven, Penny leaves Aaron the sweetly vague “call me” voicemail she should have left him weeks ago.

In classic Submissions Only style, Penny immediately runs into Aaron on the stairs to Steven’s office. Aaron has just come from telling Steven that he is officially going to law school in Wisconsin … so Penny and Aaron are thwarted by yet another interruption. Like many real-life relationships, Penny and Aaron’s timing just never worked. Unfortunately, it looks like the possibility of a relationship between them is gone for good. Aaron is as adorable as ever as he says goodbye to Penny, admitting that he wants to do something clean and start the new chapter in his life. Penny is upset, but ultimately tells Aaron she’s proud of him for getting into law school, and gives him a kiss on the cheek before going to see Steven and eating the best cake ever.

There are still a lot of unanswered questions to tackle in the season 3 finale of Submissions Only, on June 9. With Aaron and Penny done, will Josh be back in the picture? Will Light Me Up put Vincent Savio back on the map? What is going on with Nolan and Tim? As Cameron and Steven prepare for their engagement party and Penny tries to get over Aaron, the only thing we can do is wait and see (and eat cake).

The best cake ever may only be on Submissions Only, but you can get the best cookies ever served to you by the cast of Submissions Only! This is happening at Schmackary’s on Thursday, May 29, from 5 to 7 p.m. as part of Broadway Bakes. Broadway stars will be selling cookies at Schmackary’s all week to raise money for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS. The full schedule can be found at BroadwayBakes.com.

Submissions Only season 3 episode 8 will air on June 9 on BroadwayWorld.com.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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