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Songs of 'Submissions Only' live in NYC

Following the events of season 3 episode 6 of Submissions Only, walking into 54 Below on May 22 for the “Songs of Submissions Only” concert was more than a little surreal. As fans filed into the underground supper club, eyes flashed over to the bar where the truth about Penny and Aaron finally came out. The room was packed and the stage set for a trip to the alternate universe of Submissions Only. Surprisingly, no one was drinking sangria.

The concert featured many familiar faces, including creators Kate Wetherhead (Penny), Andrew Keenan-Bolger (Donny), Colin Hanlon (Tim), Blake Whyte (Josh) and Marilyn Sokel (Agnes), along with the writer of many of the songs featured in Submissions Only, Julie Foldesi. Kate and Andrew seemed even more excited than the audience as they took on the roles of hosts for the evening. Their pride in what they’ve accomplished with the show was palpable, and the concert had the festive feel of a thank-you to everyone involved with the making of Submissions Only — and a celebration of the upcoming conclusion of season 3.

Colin HanlonMost of the songs performed were from the ending credits of various episodes of the series, and therefore exist in the real world rather than the alternate universe of Submissions Only. Foldesi is responsible for a lot of these catchy tunes, and was featured throughout the concert. She captures the tone of the show so well with her music; it was great to see Foldesi perform some of these iconic closing-credits songs.

The tunes used in auditions, plays and readings in the world of Submissions Only are more often than not incomplete, which adds to the show’s mystique. But that also means that an entire night of alternate-universe songs was out of the question. Writing four catchy bars is very different from writing an entire hit song, but Wetherhead and Keenan-Bolger picked out the two songs that represent what Submissions Only is all about, and the songwriters did just that.

Phoebe StroleIn season 3 episode 3, we got a glimpse of Phoebe Strole as Jill singing “Chin in My Hands” (music by Adam Gwon, lyrics by Wetherhead), but that was nothing compared to the full live version. “Chin in My Hands” takes Eponine watching Marius and Cosette in Les Misérables to a whole new level. The character singing “Chin in My Hands” is full-on creep-stalking the dude of her dreams. Phoebe’s performance was flawlessly neurotic. Her powerful voice and comedic timing brought “Chin in My Hands” to life; now that she’s truly done the song justice, people should really stop auditioning with it.

“Nobody Does Mean Like Me” (music by Santino Fontana and Wetherhead, lyrics by Wetherhead) is an integral part of Submissions Only history. As Keenan-Bolger noted at the concert, they came up with the Mean Girls musical idea in February 2011. Take that, Tina Fey. The full-length version of “Nobody Does Mean Like Me,” brilliantly performed by Marla Mindelle, was everything a Submissions Only or a Mean Girls fan could hope for. 

It is a travesty that “Nobody Does Mean Like Me” won’t be in the real Mean Girls musical. Whatever the actual musical brings, it can’t possibly be as catchy as this number. The new complete lyrics gave a delectable taster of what Wetherhead and Fontana’s Mean Girls musical could be. We were able to decipher where “Nobody Does Mean Like Me” fits into the Mean Girls story: The song is Cady’s proposition to Janis and Damian about infiltrating the mean girls’ circle. In all likelihood, the song would also be revised during the curtain call. Wetherhead and Fontana even fleshed out “Nobody Does Mean Like Me” with some dialogue between Regina and Cady, and then Cady, Damian and Janis. It was awesome.

Mean Like MeSubmissions Only is almost unbearably close to reality, so seeing the actors as themselves rather than their characters definitely took a little getting used to. Most of the actors are nothing like their Submissions Only counterparts, but when Marilyn Sokol took the stage with her comedic stylings, Agnes Vetrulli came to life.

Rather than do a musical number, Sokol told a juicy joke that is far too risqué to detail here. Let’s just say it made Agnes’ slip-wielding audition for Gail in season 3 episode 6 seem like the height of modesty. She shocked the audience at 54 Below using the exact intensity that Agnes has been shocking us with on Submissions Only all season. Agnes has been an incredible addition to the Submissions Only roster, and Sokol was an equally incredible addition to the 54 Below concert.

With Fontana out of commission (he had a performance of Act One during the concert), the atmosphere had a distinct Team Josh vibe as the dashing Blake Whyte (Josh) took the stage. In season 3 episode 6, Josh and Serena sing “Steal Away” at an open-mic night at 54 Below, and during the credits of that same episode, Fontana and Wetherhead sing their version of the tune. At the Submissions Only concert, Wetherhead and Whyte (the third of four possible pairings) took a crack at it.

Their serenade to each other, along with Foldesi’s performance of “Too Late,” which is going to be featured in an upcoming episode, may suggest that Team Josh is not as dead as the end of episode 6 suggested. Predictions aside, Wetherhead and Whyte singing “Steal Away” was the emotional highlight of the night. Amidst the many wonderful comedic songs, it was nice to have a straight-up lovey-dovey duet.

Team Josh

Not surprisingly, the cast and band of Submissions Only put on a great show. They are, after all, more theater actors than screen actors in the first place. The highlight of the concert for any Submissions Only superfan was undoubtedly the two alternate-universe numbers, but every single performance was great. As the evening came to a close, the audience was asked to sing along with Wetherhead and Keenan-Bolger to “I Got a Reading,” and it was impossible not to smile. The concert captured the upbeat feel of the series and, like every episode, left us wishing the world of Submissions Only was real.

Here’s the set list from the concert, along with links to the episodes each song is featured in. If you couldn’t make it to the concert, you can relive it with some Submissions Only binge-watching — but unfortunately, Wetherhead and Fontana’s epic Mean Girls musical is gone forever.

1) “Where I’m S’posed to Be” — Season 2 Episode 8

2) “Locked Away” — Season 3 Episode 3

3) “Love Sick” — Season 1 Episode 5

4) “Steal Away” — Season 3 Episode 6

5) “Two Cents” — Season 2 Episode 6

6) “I Love That I’m Amazing” — Season 1 Episode 2

7) “Chin in My Hand” — Season 3 Episode 3 (most complete version)

8) “Nobody Does Mean Like Me” — Season 1 Episode 5

9) “Too Late” — by Julie Foldesi (featured in an upcoming episode)

10) “Why Must the Show Go On” — Season 2 Episode 5

11) “I Got a Reading” — Season 1 Episode 3

12) “Uh-Oh” — Season 3 Episode 2

13) “More of You” — Season 2 Episode 3

Submissions Only season 3 episode 7 airs Monday, May 26, at midnight on BroadwayWorld.com.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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