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Image Credit: Neil Jacobs/CBS

'Bad Teacher' recap: Only fat girls get jealous

Season 1 | Episode 5 | “The 6th Grade Lock-In” | Aired May 22, 2014

You know that feeling you get when you give your maid a piece of clothing that you hate, and then she wears it, and you want it back when you see it on her? Me either, but that pretty much sums up Meredith’s feelings about Coach Joel in this week’s episode of Bad Teacher, “The 6th Grade Lock-In.”

JoelMeredithThe episode opens on Meredith and Joel, post-sex, in a closet at school. The dynamic is pretty clear: Joel likes Meredith and is unabashed in confessing his feelings. Meredith pretends to be grossed out by Joel, claiming they are just colleagues that just sleep together, mostly just at work.  However, fate has other plans (or maybe just the writers do), as they are thrown together to chaperone the Sixth-Grade Lock-In, a night filled with magic and wonder, according to Lily.

But it’s not enough for them to just mean-flirt their way through the night. They have to make each other miserable in order to milk every bit of tension out of this situation. Adding to this tension are two new faces that could possibly prove problematic for the Jeredith storyline. Janet, played by the interminably cute Allison Miller, is the perky anti-Meredith, who serves the purpose of drawing out Meredith’s jealous feelings. When Joel starts showing Janet a little bit of attention, Meredith gets jealous and acts out to get Joel’s attention. Remember, all this is playing out among a bunch of sixth-graders who, apparently, don’t need much adult supervision.

At first, Meredith merely flirts with the blank-faced anti-Joel, Coach Donnie, played by Colin Hanks. He mainly just blurts out sexually aggressive one-liners; I’m not sure why Coach Donnie hasn’t been fired for sexual harassment CarlBullhornalready. When Joel doesn’t take the bait and ups the ante, asking Janet out to a Wilco concert, Meredith goes into full-on crazy mode and ruins the skit, “Zombie, Zombie, Run, Run” by blurting out something about Janet’s face and sloppy seconds.

Everyone gets called into Principal Carl’s office for a good scolding, and Coach Donnie admits he likes Meredith’s boobs. Don’t we all? Joel and Janet admit they “like like” each other, and then so many Wilco puns ensue. My favorite? Meredith warning, “I think I Wilco commit suicide now.”

In order to maintain the magic of the Sixth-Grade Walk-In, the Safety Patrol, led by Bronwen, converts Irene’s classIReneDJroom into a romantic setting for a first date with Lyle’s dad, Dale (Andy Daly), complete with toilet-paper streamers and sexy lighting by Bunsen burners. As things start to heat up between Irene and Dale, a fire starts and the sprinklers come on, blocking any sexy time that could have ensued.

Meredith, after sad-eating a whole pizza, gets a pep talk from Lily, and runs to find Joel to tell him her real feelings. They meet in the hallway, water streaming down, and Meredith professes her feelings for him: “You’re cute, and kind of smart … in a dumb-gym-teacher kind of way.”  There’s a sentimental song playing in the background and they kiss, The Notebook-style, under the sprinklers.

I’m thinking this is it — this is the official start to Jeredith. But we’ve learned our lesson with Meredith; she’s never niceKimandGinny for long. When Joel asks if they are boyfriend and girlfriend now, Meredith rejects him in true Meredith fashion: “I don’t want you to be anything with Janet, but I don’t want to be anything with you either.” Ouch.

But Joel doesn’t take it as hard as I do, and sticks to his guns about Janet. It’s not over yet. I hope we can get some kind of closure before CBS yanks the show off the air.

Are you Team Janet or Team Meredith? Tweet me your stance.

Bad Teacher airs Thursdays at 9:30/8:30 C on CBS.

 

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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