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Image Credit: SyFy

'Métal Hurlant Chronicles' recap: And then there was one

Season 1 | Episode 4 | “Three On a Match” | Aired May 19, 2014

The episode opens with Stanley Summers (Dominique Pinon) running through a spaceship. (Hmm, this scene looks very familiar from the virtual reality sequence in “Back to Reality”.) While he’s doing that, we’re taken to guards standing outside the captain’s quarters. As they stand in front of the door complaining about having this duty, the captain inside (who looks very similar to Angelina Jolie in Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow) starts beating up a solider. Apparently, though, this is all foreplay to what looks like the beginning of a cheesy adult movie. The captain probably should have paid more attention to what was going on outside, because a huge asteroid crashes into the space ship and proceeds to destroy it.

Stanley manages to get into an escape pod just in the nick of time. He finds two pilots inside, who introduce themselves as Timarek (Craig Fairbrass) and Kaskoff (Eriq Ebouaney). Even though the pod could still fit at least five more people, they don’t want to wait any longer, and fly away immediately as the ship begins to blow up. A few minutes later, they are safely away and the pod is set to autopilot as they begin to search for supplies.

duo

As the men get settled, Stanley seems to knock heads with Timarek, who becomes annoyed at him for existing. Timarek taunts Stanley about being one of the engineers and how he should be grateful to have survived. Their luck is about to run out, however, because it’s discovered that the pod is suffering from a punctured hole because of the spaceship’s debris. There will not be enough oxygen for the three men to survive until they reach a rescue ship. Stanley wonders what they can do about this. The two men, on the other hand, already know.

We then see that they’ve tossed out poor Stanley into space. Luckily they’ve given him his spacesuit, which will give him at least an hour of oxygen. Outside the pod, we can see and hear Stanley screaming angrily at the men while they sit inside laughing at him. Then his screams turn into shouts of urgency, but before we can find out what has happened, Kaskoff turns off the sound. Thinking they’ve solved everything, the men return back to relaxing.

space

Unfortunately, this plan wasn’t enough. Timarek realizes that he has miscalculated and there is only enough oxygen for one of them to survive until reaching the rescue ship. Instead of reacting calmly and trying to figure out a plan to try to save both of them, the two men do the dumbest thing possible: They immediately start fighting each other, with the intent of leaving only one survivor. We watch as they punch each other, knee each other in the groin and choke each other. There’s even some biting off chunks of ear (I may have shouted my disgust at the TV at this point) and hitting one another with a wrench. The entire time, all I can think is, “You idiots! You’re wasting MORE oxygen doing this!” Finally, Kaskoff gets Timarek in a headlock and squeezes the life out of him.

choke

Then Kaskoff hears news that the rescue ship is close by — in fact, less than a minute away. But before Kaskoff can celebrate, the oxygen levels have dropped drastically low thanks to the fight. Now there’s not enough for even just him. As he hears the countdown from the other ship announcing his arrival, Kaskoff collapses and starts choking from the lack of air. So close, and yet not enough.

The pod docks onto the rescue ship, where the bodies are brought on board. The captain and crew of the ship speculate how the two men died. Suddenly Stanley shows up! They are surprised to see him and ask how in the world he survived. He tells them that the two men actually saved his life when they threw him out of the pod. You see, he found what had punctured the hole in the first place: the oxygen tank.

Question: If the scene with Stanley running through the ship was also the same scene from his virtual reality adventures, is this entire sequence not real? And since Stanley’s adventures took place in the virtual world that Norman was in, is this like some three-level-deep, Inception-type dream?

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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