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'Submissions Only' recap: Face the music

Season 3 | Episode 6 | Aired May 12, 2014

Penny and Aaron are not the only awkward relationship in episode 6 of Submissions Only. In a memorable cold open, Tracy Mintzer (Audra McDonald) says all the wrong things to her old neighbor Albert (Nick Corley). Not only did Albert recently suffer from a parasite, but his wife left him and he had to move from the Upper West Side to Red Hook (hey, at least there’s an IKEA nearby). Albert also had to drop out of his show, Civil Bore (or maybe it’s Civil Boar; that would be a very different play), because of the parasite, and now the show is moving to Broadway without him. Tracy learns all of this in the small-talk portion of the audition, then proceeds to ask Albert to sing “Just the Way You Look at Me.” Turns out that was his wedding song. Oops.

After the meeting with Vincent Savio, indifferent Gail is gone for good and aspirational Gail is here to stay. In an effort to get Gail battle-ready for the casting room, Agnes and Tim decide to stage auditions. From forgetting the words to a song to using a real brain as a prop, Tim has seen it all and Gail has scoffed at it all. If Gail really wants to be a casting director, she needs to learn how to deal with things professionally and maintain a refined level of her signature Gail candor.

The ridiculous Gail plot balances Penny’s crumbling world perfectly. This episode is the most dramatic to date and still manages to be laugh-out-loud funny thanks to Gail, Tim and Agnes. Gail learns to handle a crazy woman dying, not having her sides, not having her skirt, and not knowing how to find the 1 train. Agnes does a great job trying to throw Gail off guard, but nothing really gets to her until Tim attempts to flirt. He can pretend to be a jump-roping clown, but Tim pretending to be interested in Gail is too much for either of them. Gail does remarkably well through her trials and is ready to meet with Vincent and Donny to discuss Light Me Up. Donny’s incapability to shake people’s hands seems to be the only problem with this show. Looks like Vincent may actually rebuild his reputation with Light Me Up.

Screen Shot 2014-05-12 at 11.15.30 AM

We finally get to see a little more of Jeremy’s Fort, but that’s not necessarily a good thing. The show is a mess, and Linda is not happy. She needs to get the show and the Giddyup Guys back on track. Unfortunately for Linda, it’s not just the score that needs work. After her run-in with Aaron, Penny thinks that he may have finally broken up with Serena and is concerned about what that will mean for the Jeremy’s Fort rehearsal. When Serena storms in late, diva sunglasses and all, it looks like Penny is right, but it turns out Serena’s Frenchie, Jean-Claude, is ill, giving Aaron yet another roadblock in his break-up-with-Serena quest.

While Serena is having a meltdown about her dog, Josh tells Penny that he had a French bulldog that didn’t make it through surgery. It’s just a joke, but Penny calls him out on his sick sense of humor. You know who also used to call him out on his sick sense of humor? His ex-girlfriend! That’s right, girlfriend. Major props to Blake Whyte (who plays Josh) for the last couple of episodes, where Josh’s gayness has been in question. Whyte plays him perfectly and has emerged as one of this season’s best characters.

Josh’s newly confirmed straightness propels Penny into full flirt mode and Serena into matchmaker meddling. Serena invites Penny to an open mic night at 54 Below (home of the upcoming Submissions Only concert) under the pretense that the whole cast will be there, but Serena has a more devious evening planned. Penny arrives in a fancy-schmancy dress, which her roommate Suze probably picked out because, let’s face it, Penny has no style. Josh and Serena are there, but it turns out the rest of the cast isn’t coming. Serena has set up a double date for Penny and Josh, with her and Aaron. As the emcee sings a tune about hot toddies and pert young women, Serena introduces Aaron to Penny and Josh. Welcome to the most uncomfortable open-mic night in history — and that’s saying a lot!

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Serena insists that if she and Penny are singing, the boys have to sing as well. Josh doesn’t want to belt out tunes by himself so Serena agrees to do a duet with him, so that Penny can hear Josh’s serenade. As Serena and Josh take the stage to croon “Steal Away” (by Jeff Blumenkrantz), Aaron and Penny are left by themselves and the fun begins. Aaron is pissed about the Josh situation, and Penny is pissed that Aaron is too chicken to break up with Serena. They both have valid points, but Penny definitely has the upper hand. If Aaron doesn’t want to break it off with Serena, he has no right to be mad at Penny for flirting with Josh. Penny storms off (or trips, according to the bartender) to the bar for a shot of bourbon and an escape from having an argument in the middle of a restaurant.

Aaron follows, calling her out on her “three-and-a-half-month” rule. Penny counters with the way Aaron has been avoiding everything: breaking up with Serena, talking to Penny and New York in general. Aaron spars back that he has a lot going on in his life with the transition to law school and his life being miserable. As Penny pulls out the big guns — “If you know you like someone better than your girlfriend, then maybe you should show your girlfriend some respect and break up with her as a courtesy” — Serena and Josh walk over.

It doesn’t take long for Serena to figure out that the person Aaron likes more than his girlfriend is Penny, and that Penny and Aaron didn’t just meet. Penny and Aaron finally face the music. They both screwed up, and now they have to handle the consequences. As Penny notes, the consequences are a little more extreme for her than they are for Aaron. She still has to work with Josh and Serena every day on Jeremy’s Fort, whereas Aaron is free. What this means that for Penny and Aaron, we will have to wait and see. As the credits roll in an alternate universe we know as reality, Kate Wetherhead and Santino Fontana sing their version of “Steal Away,” an upbeat tune that’s the complete opposite of their characters’ emotions at the end of the episode.

What did you think of episode 6? Will Penny and Aaron finally get together? Does Jeremy’s Fort have any chance of success? Will Serena be able to cope with being single? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.

Submissions Only airs every other Monday at BroadwayWorld.com.

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TV Families

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The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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class="article-single post-588800 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-article category-music creative-work-11730"> <header class="article-header"> <h2 class="article-header__subchannel channel__color--color"><a class="channel__color--color" href="/article/">Article</a></h2><h1 class="article-header__title">000</h1><p class="article-header__byline"><a href="http://ew.com/author/elisabeth-vincentelli/" aria-label="Posts by Elisabeth Vincentelli" class="author url fn" rel="author">Elisabeth Vincentelli</a></p><p class="article-header__timestamp">Posted on <time datetime="2000-04-14T04:00:00+00:00">April 14, 2000 at 4:00am EST</time></p> <div class="article-header__share"> <div class="sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled"><div class="robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-icon-text sd-sharing"><div class="sd-content"><ul><li class="share-facebook"><a rel="nofollow" data-shared="sharing-facebook-588800" class="share-facebook sd-button share-icon" 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Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <div class="article-body__show-full"> <button id="button--show-full" class="channel__color--background-color" type="button">Show Full Article</button> </div> </div> <!-- template: article-footer --> <footer class="article-footer"> <div class="articles-recirculation articles-recirculation--see-also channel__color--border-color"> <!-- template: article-footer-section-title --> <h2 class="article-footer__section-title channel__color--border-color article-footer__section-title--third-party"> <div class="article-footer__section-title-inner-wrap"> <span class="article-footer__section-title-span"><span class="article-footer__section-title-more article-footer__section-title-more--">See Also...</span> </span> </div> </h2> <div class="ob-widget-wrapper " data-url-fragment="outbrain"> <div class="outbrain-widget" 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