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'The Originals' react: We didn't see that coming

Season 1 | Episode 21 | “The Battle for New Orleans” | Aired May 6, 2014

What the what just happened?! We’re still recovering from that INSANE episode. Talk about a turn of events — Genevieve betrays her lover Klaus, Francesca is a lying sack of worms, and Elijah and Hayley give us major love feels. Let’s get down to the dirty deets.

That kiss (round 2): Hayley and Elijah sweep us off our feet once again with their undeniable romance. Hayley tells Elijah the truth about Jackson and how they are betrothed to one another. Elijah has an underwhelming reaction, and Hayley gets pissed because he isn’t fighting for her. Stop being so noble, Elijah!

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Elijah grabs her, kisses her and tells her she always has a choice. This was the point where we lost it. #TheyAreEpic

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Tick, tick, boom: Marcel and Diego kidnap and torture Oliver and Jackson at their secret clubhouse by the docks. As much as we can’t stand Oliver, it’s pretty brutal how they beat the crap out of him. If Marcel wants information on Klaus and the whereabouts of the stones needed to make the moonlight rings, can’t he find a nicer way to do so? Negotiation, perhaps? Give us a box of wine, and we’re all yours.

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Meanwhile, Klaus infects Josh with his deadly werewolf venom and uses him to make Davina spill the beans on where Marcel’s clubhouse is. When Klaus and Elijah get there, Jackson is still tied up, but Marcel let Oliver go. They realize that Marcel has rigged the whole place with explosives and all of a sudden, it turns into one giant fireball. Thank the good Lord, Elijah managed to save Jackson.

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Let’s get ready to rumble: The time has come for the battle of New Orleans to begin. Marcel gives a rousing pep talk to all of his vampire minions and off they march, to take down Elijah and Klaus at their family compound. Way to go, Coach Marcel.

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Marcel lures Klaus into the street, where they exchange blows. It’s worth noting that Klaus doesn’t kill Marcel, even though he could have ripped his head off several times. Back in the Mikaelson courtyard, Elijah beats up hundreds of vampires without so much as wrinkling his Tom Ford power suit.

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Cami’s a sleuth: Remember how Francesca wanted Kieran’s key from Cami? We find out why in this episode. Cami takes the key, uncovers some secret coding, goes full Da Vinci Code, and ends up at an apartment that belonged to Father K, with a secret room in a closet. Inside is a whole mess of research about New Orleans and those who reside there. Cami unearths a box with her name on it and finds research proving that Franny isn’t a human at all … but a werewolf!

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Of course, she realizes this a little too late.

Genevieve sucks: Let’s just preface this with the fact that we were rooting for Gen for, like, five seconds after we saw her softer side last week. We thought she finally came to her senses and hopped on #TeamSaveTheBaby. Unfortunately, Gen has an alternate agenda (saving herself) and conspires with Francesca to kidnap Hayley and force her baby out, so they can sacrifice it to the witches in exchange for power. What the heck is wrong with this ginger?!

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Franny’s real agenda: Franny is really working with Gen to perform the “moonlight” spell for herself, as she is a descendant of the Guerrara wolf pack, who were all thought to be extinct. The moonlight spell apparently allows werewolves to be lethal all the time and not at the mercy of the full moon — aka the vampires are screwed. Fran and her brood of brothers complete the werewolf transition by killing some guards, and they start biting all the vampires at the Mikaelson house that came with Marcel to take over the city. Who does Fran think she is? Don’t even get us started on that awful powder blue suit she wears all episode. If you can’t even dress fierce, what makes you think you can take over a whole city, Franny?

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Then there’s Davina: Davina is sitting with Josh as he dies because Klaus never comes back to cure him with his blood. Ghost-Mikael appears and plays on her weakness, saying that he’ll help Josh if she brings him back. The fact that she’s a teenager who’s watching her only friend die right now makes us think she’s going to go through with it and resurrect him. She is so over Klaus and wants him gone. Does she realize that if Mikael kills Klaus, his whole bloodline will die … including Josh?

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KLAUS!: Klaus is in quite possibly the worst situation ever. He volunteers his blood to be used in Gen’s moonlight spell, and it backfires on him. Why would he do that? Gen cannot be trusted, ever.

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Because Klaus’ blood is used, werewolves will draw their strength from him during every full moon, and he’ll be left powerless and in pain. And to make matters worse, Klaus can hear the screams of his baby mama, Hayley, and he can’t save her. We can’t handle this!

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There’s only one more episode left this season, and it looks like next week, Elijah and Klaus will be desperately fighting to save the royal baby. How do you think the season finale will go down? Will they sacrifice the baby? Will Davina be a complete idiot and bring Mikael back from the dead? Sound off with your season finale predictions in the comments below! Until next time, #FangsOut.

xoxo,

TeamTSD

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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