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Image Credit: Todd Warywchuck/ABC

'General Hospital' recap: Trading one psycho for another

Season 51 | Episodes 20-24 | Aired Apr 28–May 2, 2014

Poor Madeline. While she’s been in jail for longer than Carlos, he’s already been arraigned and outfitted with a snazzy orange jumpsuit. She’s still sitting in a holding cell wearing the same red blazer she was arrested in. Add that to her lack of egg-white omelets, and Madeline is clearly not getting the best treatment the PCPD has to offer. In fact, she’s being sent off to Rikers Island while her sister is cutting one heck of a sweetheart deal to secure freedom.

Apparently, all it takes to get attempted murder, kidnapping, fraud and myriad other charges dropped is providing the location of an embryo. Yes, Lulu convinced Nikolas and Liz to drop their case against Obrecht, and Scott (fuzzy with memories of Lucy, Dominique and Serena) agreed. Obrecht, fashioned with an ankle monitor, and Britt are now free and clear.

Nathan meets with his mutter dearest and is none too interested to make her further acquaintance. It turns out swapping one homicidal psychopath mother for another isn’t too high on his to-do list. She won’t reveal his father, but I’m sure we can all agree, based on obvious editing choices, that it is Victor Cassadine. The question remains why a wealthy foreign national wasn’t relationship material, but that’s a question for another day. Nathan is far more distracted with his now-aunt’s revelation about his sister-cousin, Nina.

It’s a given on a soap that no character is introduced for dialogue-only purposes. We’ve been hearing about comatose Nina for months, and only recently about deceased Nina. I think it is safe to assume that nobody expected Nina to really be dead. Madeline confessing that she is really alive is no great surprise. And since she’s already on the hook for Nakamura’s murder, she decides to go down for Nina’s faux death as well. Madeline implores Nathan to keep her secret. And while Madeline won’t reveal Nina’s whereabouts, viewers are given a glimpse when we spy Nina, eyes open, in a hospital bed. And I am pleased to announce the rumors were true … she is being played by soap legend Michelle Stafford. Finally this story may get interesting! But, in the meantime, can we decide if we should be calling Detective West by the name Nathan or James?

Britt spends this week firmly ensconced in her character-redemption arc. She’s cleared of any suspicion in the car accident, and caringly attends to Baby Santiago-Drake. Nathan visits to advise of their newfound sibling status and relish the fact that they didn’t hook up. She’s appropriately stunned, but there’s no immediate fallout to be seen.

Baby Santiago-Drake is front and center this week, as we learn that he is 13 inches and 1 pound 12 ounces in size. He doesn’t have a name yet, and his odds of survival are only 50 percent. Sabrina refuses to leave his side, with Felix there to lend support. Patrick is nearby, but he’s slightly distracted by the destruction of his marriage.

Robin Scorpio Drake is a hot-button subject for viewers. She and Patrick have legions of fans, called Scrubs. Meanwhile, Patrick and Sabrina have their own Patrina following. Whichever camp you fall in, it’s hard to feel anything but outrage at the way Robin’s character is being assassinated. Are we really supposed to believe that Robin’s mission to save Jason outweighs her love for Patrick and Emma? She learned about the car crash from the Internet, but apparently has no access to email or phones. We’d better find out that Victor refuses to let her leave, because there is no rational reason she wouldn’t be by her daughter’s side. All Patrick hears is that she’s not coming home, and he confides to Sam (who later gossips to Alexis) that his marriage may be over.

I wondered what could be worse than hooking up with your son’s girlfriend; now I have an answer. How about trying to convince your son not to tell your girlfriend because it would hurt her? Yes, Sonny sank to a new low (besides the murder and cheating) when he, in Morgan’s words, pathetically tried to turn the situation around and make Morgan culpable for Olivia’s feelings. Morgan decides to keep the information to himself for now, but in a swift payback move, he visits Julian, interrupting his date with Alexis, to rat out Ava for funneling information to Sonny. In turn, Alexis beelines to Sonny and tells him about Morgan’s revelation. Then Sonny heads straight to Ava to tell her to get the heck out of Port Charles, offering up his private island in return.

Ava has a busy week all around, between trying to make voicemail amends to Morgan and convincing Carlos to send himself “up the Rivera.” With fear for Sabrina and her baby’s safety in mind, Carlos confesses to A.J.’s murder. Anna sense holes in his story, but still goes ahead with prosecution. Carly and Franco are floored, knowing that Sonny is the real culprit, and decide to do some sleuthing. With an inadvertent tip from Anna, they track down A.J.’s lost cell phone (his password was “picklelila,” for those keeping track), and realize he was recording audio at the time of his shooting. Will it finally be discovered that Ava killed Connie?

Luke continues to add to his list of deplorable behavior, this time insisting that Julian kill his sister for her betrayal with Sonny. Julian’s opposed, but still meets up with a fleeing Ava, gun in hand. Luke is counting his drug-earned gains and talking to himself/his deceased buddy about taking Sonny down, when Ned enters and immediately wonders about the massive amounts of cash laid out on Luke’s desk. What ridiculous story will Luke spin this time? And can we find out who Luke really is, and soon? The expiration date on patience has passed!

There was little movement in the T.J./Shawn/Jordan front. T.J. got into Port Charles University, so clearly many PCU movie marathons are on the docket. He’s also pushing Shawn to be nicer to Jordan, but it’s all treading water until he learns the truth about his mother’s history. Shawn knows Jordan is involved with drugs, but she holds the truth about his involvement in T.J.’s father’s death over his head. And while Julian is seemingly pleased with Jordan’s role in distribution, her enthusiasm to find out all of the details of the drug trade leaves me with raised eyebrows. Wire or no wire, I wonder if she is actually working to bring the drug ring down.

Finally, we had the reconciliation between Lulu and Maxie that we’ve been waiting weeks for. It was shockingly brief, but the two besties are on the road to repair. Hopefully Lulu can tear her friend away from the energy drain that is the pretentious vegan guru Levi. I’m waiting for something about him to be worthy of the minutes of screen time he is taking away from other characters, and I have yet to find it.

Next week is the Nurses’ Ball! What secrets will be revealed? Who will dance and sing? And most important, how will Lucy Coe end up in her underwear?

TV Families | EW.com

TV Families -- We compare various television clans through the years to see how they stack up, from ''The Brady Bunch'' to ''The Flintstones''

By Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 at 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. 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