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'Métal Hurlant Chronicles' recap: You only live twice

Season 2 | Episode 4 | “Second Chance” | Aired Apr 28, 2014

After the simplicity of the previous episode, it’s time to get back into outer space and into full space-opera mode once again.

The setting is a casino in space. Joe (Scott Adkins) stands outside the doors, takes a swig of liquor, and makes the decision that he’s just going to go inside, get rich and then get out. Since he lost freight while on a delivery job, he has to make this a good game. After bumping into a nameless alien with flowing locks of hair (Karl E. Landler) and getting a gun pointed at his head  for being human, Joe ends up inside a bar. He decides to gamble against Xero Trobes (Kamel Laadaili), a ruthless kingpin who has only one good eye and looks like a cyborg. Joe ends up risking all that he has PLUS his eyeballs. This ends up not being a good idea because he promptly loses. Xero decides to show him some mercy and gives him only one day to find a quarter-million per eye in exchange. Because that’s going to be super-easy. Better go enjoy those eyeballs while you can, Joe.


Instead of trying to find ways to come up with money, however, Joe decides to spend money at the brothel. After first offering himself to the room and getting no takers, he spies a prostitute whose name is never mentioned (Lygie Duvivier), and the two find themselves bantering in silly foreplay. Sadly for Joe, his engines can’t keep their thrust up to full potential (complete with a shot of an actual spaceship losing steam) and everything comes to a halt. Dejected, he starts complaining, but the girl is intrigued to hear that he’s a pilot. It turns out she has a map to a pirate ship with enough treasure so that Joe can start a new life.

Finally aboard a stolen ship (the girl hits a guard with a wrench to distract him), the pair find out that Xero has discovered their escape. With fighter pilots now attacking them, Joe learns that the navigation is set to the location of the pirate ship: No Man’s Land.  If they can make it through the space portal and away from Xero’s fighters, they’ll be safe. Though there is that small detail that no one has ever come back from No Man’s Land.


After a brief battle where Joe outmaneuvers and destroys Xero’s fighters (with no thanks to the girl, who is a horrible backseat driver), they finally are able to travel through the space jump. While the initial reaction is to celebrate, soon the two discover exactly why it’s called No Man’s Land: It’s a huge black hole. They need to get on that pirate ship and get the treasure out of there fast. Even though the ship is empty and deserted, the pair quickly locate the treasure.  Sadly, there’s no time to enjoy their new riches because the pirate ship suddenly starts to tilt. It appears that by docking their ship on top of it, the orbit is now broken. Joe’s attempts to pilot the ship away from the gravitational pull are futile because there simply is not enough power (he sure has rotten luck). He and the girl find themselves being sucked out of the ship, into the black hole.


Suddenly Joe awakens and finds himself in a lush green forest with the girl lying next to him. His clothes appear to be slightly tattered, while hers are strategically torn in certain places. The two have no idea where they are but keep walking through the garden. Then they see a snake curled up in a tree next to an apple. The girl starts to walk toward it but Joe tells her that it’s not a good idea; he has a bad feeling about this. As the camera pans away from them, we see the Métal Hurlant asteroid passing by whatever planet they happen to be on.


Question to ask: Are we all the descendants of a gambling pilot and a prostitute?

Next week: The teaser features John “Gimili! Sallah!” Rhys-Davies showing up!

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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