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'The Originals': [Spoiler] gets his heart ripped out

Season 1 | Episode 18 | “The Big Uneasy “ | Aired Apr 15, 2014

The hell-atus is over! The Originals returned last night with a jam-packed episode: a party in the French Quarter, a brewing  rebellion and a (gasp!) death. Let’s review the most important parts of last night’s episode, “The Big Uneasy.”

After the party is the nude-painting party: Klaus paints Genevieve nude the morning after the party. Watching these two together is painful because she’s terrible, conniving and generally unlikable. It does make things better to know that Klaus is simply using her so she’ll pledge her allegiance to him. As if he could ever truly love someone who tortured him by burying a T. rex talon in his abdomen.











Elijah nests: Let’s face it. Elijah is in love with Hayley, and Klaus calls him out for remodeling the property for her. It makes sense. The future prince or princess of the quarter can’t live in squalor. Klaus plans to bring Hayley back once she delivers because no baby of his is going to be born in a swamp. The baby is royalty, after all.










Hayley’s one bad mutha: Even pregnant, Hayley doesn’t put up with any crap. She knows that Oliver and Jackson are hiding something from her, and she gets physical when they won’t spill the beans. Don’t cross this fierce mama! Side note: Oliver reminds us of a more sanitary Jax Teller, and we’re OK with it.










The Teenage Witches of the Quarter: Davina, Monique and whoever their blond friend is attend a street party thrown in their honor. They wear New Orleans couture with fierce headpieces and are carried through the streets like princesses. When they display their powers with Davina, eventually illuminating a giant fleur-de-lis and setting off fireworks,  everyone cheers. This officially makes them the new “it girls” of NOLA!










Monique and Genevieve get catty: Monique doesn’t like all the attention Davina is getting at their party, and Genevieve says she just needs to be put in her place. When the girls sit on their thrones and gifts are laid at their feet (jealous!), Davina doesn’t get a single one, thanks to Genevieve. Monique loves every second of it, too. How very Gossip Girl of them.










Davina receives the best gift of all: Like Genevieve, her alabaster evilness does get the last laugh. Klaus decides to apologize and display a token of respect to Davina. Not only does he publicly pardon Josh (her gay bestie) at the party, but he gives her a gift. It’s not just any old gift, either. It’s the daylight ring spell, one of Klaus’s mother’s many spells that Genevieve has been after. Take that, redhead. #awsnap








Marcel’s not messing around: Marcel sends a marching band of compelled musicians to the party, and they tell the crowd they are a gift from Marcel as they slit their wrists, exposing fresh blood to a room full of vampires. The lights mysteriously go out, and all hell breaks loose. We understand Marcel is out for revenge, that it’s his city and blah blah, but did he really have to kill innocent people? Oh, who are we kidding? He’s too pretty to be mad at.










Thierry be gone: Marcel’s rumble ends poorly for his bestie, Thierry. Hayley is at the party, and when the lights go out, she suffers a blow to the head from all the chaos. Elijah is pissed off (#obvi), so he rips Thierry’s heart out. That’s what you get for messing with The Originals.










Cami has a bad day: Not only does her plan to persuade Genevieve with a hair clip in order to save Father Kieran fail, but Klaus finds out that she had hanky-panky with Marcel and outs her. At least her hair looks good in this episode.









Elijah steps it up: Elijah is fed up with being loyal to Klaus and receiving nothing in return. He finds out that Klaus is conspiring with the werewolves behind his back, thus mocking his attempt to create peace amongst the supes of New Orleans. He tells Klaus that since he seems to have no regard for his family or future child, Elijah is going to take what he wants, when he wants it. Aka, he’s going after Hayley. #TeamHaylijah










We also see a slew of vampires paying their respects to Thierry while also pledging their allegiance to Marcel and his rebellion. Do you think Marcel’s plan will work? Will Hayley and Elijah get together? And when is she going to have that baby already? Leave your thoughts below. Until next time … #FangsOut


TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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