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Image Credit: Robert Voets/The CW

'Hart of Dixie' recap: Curse buddies forever

Season 3 | Episode 17 | “A Good Run of Bad Luck” | Aired Apr 11, 2014

Joel’s sudden overseas departure has really thrown Zoe for a loop. Not only does her hair resemble a rat’s nest, but she insists on trudging through town in a stained sweatshirt, stretchy yoga pants and green fuzzy slippers. (Only Rachel Bilson could make this wardrobe choice so adorably psycho chic!) In a matter of minutes, she is denied an invitation to the BlueBell Senior Citizen Dance, suffers a blow to the head with an unruly Frisbee, receives a head-to-toe mud bath from a passing car and accidentally breaks Joel’s NYU coffee mug.

Clearly the only logical option is to go see Madame Van Horn, so the clairvoyant can figure out exactly what is causing all of Zoe’s bad luck. Her quick tarot-card reading reveals that a wedding is the culprit, due to a certain groom never making it down the aisle. Madame Van Horn warns, “Breaking up a wedding is a cosmic sin. The universe is punishing you, and your love life will never change unless you right this wrong.”

Zoe puts two and two together. Since Lemon and George didn’t get married that day, none of their post-breakup relationships have worked. And since Lavon was also a contributor to the failed nuptials due to his rendezvous with Lemon, he’s cosmically responsible too. They are curse buddies! It’s time to get Lemon and George back together. Let the hijinks begin.

Fortunately, George and Lemon are halfway there. A heated argument led to several shots of tequila, which led to a romp on the houseboat. Hello, convenient timing! I salute you! George is in the middle of a tempestuous flashback of his night with Lemon when he literally runs into her in the town square. While engaging in awkward small talk, Lemon has a flashback of her own. Hello, shirtless Scott Porter! I salute you too!

After exchanging quick good-byes, our secret lovers scatter in different directions. Based on Lemon’s outfit, I can only assume that she had to scoot in order to prepare for her dramatic reading at Fancie’s that night. It’s the only explanation of why she would be dressed as an adult version of Madeline. She must have left her yellow hat at home.

Screen shot 2014-04-12 at 6.59.08 AM

George confides in Zoe that he slept with Lemon around the exact same time that Lemon confides in Lavon that she slept with George. Both agree that the tryst was steamy, and both agree that they can’t stand each other. This newfound knowledge gives Zoe the great idea that she should become a behind-the-scenes matchmaker. It also gives her the extra push she needs to deep-condition her hair and wear something that she didn’t dig out of the dirty-clothes hamper.

Zoe tries to convince both Lemon and George that they still have feelings for each other. She tries to wrangle Lavon into helping with Project Lemorge Reconciliation. He is NOT on board. Mayor Hayes is too busy perfecting his golf putting game and picking out jaunty fedoras to participate in such adolescent shenanigans.

Undeterred, Zoe arranges for flowers and an invitation to dinner to be sent to both George and Lemon, under the guise that the other made the sweet gesture. George is liquoring up at the bar when Lemon arrives. The camera slowly pans from her shiny golden locks to a respectable yet flirty white dress with a funky flower on the shoulder, a darling clutch and — MY EYES! PLEASE SAY IT ISN’T TRUE! IS LEMON WEARING PANTY HOSE? I need a palate cleanse. One of these jokers needs to flashback. Now.

George and Lemon reminisce about the old days while Zoe and a disapproving Lavon lurk behind a potted plant. Things go south when Lemon orders fish and doesn’t eat it, just as George suspected. Everything begins to unravel quickly, and soon they discover that Zoe has orchestrated the entire date. When she falls through the potted plant, the jig is finally up. George and Lemon agree that their wild night of lovemaking was indeed amazing, but it was also a mistake, and the best way to cool off is for George to be a silent partner of Fancie’s.

Zoe melts into Lavon’s arms, weeping that she was desperately holding on to the curse as the only explanation for Joel leaving. She finally admits that she did love him, and it was her choice to stay in BlueBell. She packs up all her ex-boyfriend’s stuff in a box. I guess he’s too cool for flannel button-downs and Harvard T-shirts now. Regardless, Zoe has closure.

Over at the Rammer Jammer, Wade is playing video games with Vivian’s son, Harley. In a moment of complete trust, Harley tells Wade that Bobby the Bully is stealing his lunch money. Wade suggests that Harley should stand up for himself and if Bobby the Bully growls, well, then he should just growl back.

This bit of advice backfires on Wade when he sees Harley’s black eye. Vivian’s ex-husband, Charlie, is not too thrilled that Wade went all Road House when giving advice to his son, and asks that he stay away from Harley. Let the record show that I love any and all nods to Patrick Swayze and will forever love Hart of Dixie for the shout-out. But the quarantine will have to wait until next week because Wade has already been invited to the Wilkes family barbecue, and is naturally paired up with ex-husband Charlie for a rousing game of capture the flag, but with a Wilkes family twist.

A camouflaged trip wire sends them up in a booby-trapped net. Everyone knows that the truth tends to come out while you’re suspended 12 feet in the air. Wade admits that he wants Harley to like him. Charlie is sad that his son is going to “a new guy who has a truck and can rip a man’s throat out if he wanted.” They shake hands and make up. Wade does not have to take off his shirt to do this, and I’m pretty sure the last time we saw his six-pack was during the Reagan Administration. Sigh.

In other random news, Brick asks Annabeth to make an appointment for Davis Pope (Barry Watson), and everyone acts as if we are supposed to know Davis’ character. Fear not — you didn’t accidentally change the channel to a 7th Heaven episode on Lifetime. Apparently, he’s been suffering from headaches for weeks. Annabeth thinks that the eldest Camden child is a hypochondriac, and as it turns out, she’s right!

She shows up to Davis’ home to personally escort him to Mobile, Alabama, for an MRI. He admits that the entire sickness was a ruse to ask AB out on a date, but he always lost his nerve once he got to the doctor’s office: “It’s not like I could put that knight costume back on.”

Yes. Davis is the random knight we already forgot about who bought Annabeth a drink at the Renaissance fair two weeks ago!

When Annabeth turns him down, Brick intercedes and encourages her to go out with ye ole shy knight in shining armor. She marches back to Davis, accepting his dinner invitation. She agrees to be his date for a black-tie event, which just happens to be a fund-raising dinner for a re-election campaign — Mayor Gainey of Fillmore is his uncle.

Calm down and think, Annabeth. What would Patrick Swayze do?

Quaint Quips

Zoe: Guess what?
Lavon: You washed your hair!

*

Lemon: How was I supposed to know the fish would be so fishy?

*

Ex-husband Charles: You’re just a juvenile bartender with rock-hard abs.
Lincee: Amen.

*

Wade: Calling me Road House is a actually a compliment. Patrick Swayze’s Dalton is not only a bouncer, but he’s a philosopher, a college grad, a Tai Chi master and a mediator. Not to mention that he tears people’s throats out for a living, so thank you.

*

What did you think about “A Good Run of Bad Luck?” Will George continue to have flashbacks about Lemon? Is Zoe over Joel for good? Will Wade ever take his shirt off? Sound off in the comments section!

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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class="article content body clearfix"> <div class="padded"> <h3 class="article__creative-work-title">000</h3> <dl id="article__creative-work-info" class="article__creative-work-info"> <dt>type</dt> <dd>Music</dd> <dt>Current Status</dt> <dd>In Season</dd> </dl> <div class="article__letter-grade"> <span class="article__letter-grade-shape channel__color--background-color"></span> <p aria-label="Letter grade">We gave it a <strong>B</strong></p> </div> <p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p> </div> </div> <!-- Bottom Recirc --> <div class="bottom-recirc padded-mobile " data-tracking-zone="bottom-recirc" > <div class="component outbrain clearfix " data-action="outbrain-component" data-tracking-zone=outbrain-bottom> <div class="OUTBRAIN " data-src="http://ew.com//article/2000/04/14/000/" data-widget-id="AR_24" data-ob-template="ew" > </div> </div> <div id="ad-728x90_FT_td_1" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper desktop-ad tablet-ad " data-dimensions="728x90" data-tgxtargeting="%7B%22ft%22%3A%221%22%7D" data-tgxlazy="200" > </div> <div id="ad-300x250_FT_m_1" class="ad ad-container ad-wrapper mobile-ad " data-dimensions="300x250" data-tgxtargeting="%7B%22ft%22%3A%221%22%7D" data-tgxupdatecorrelator="true" data-tgxlazy="200" > </div> <div class="component feed clearfix bottom-recirc" 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