Season 1 | Ep. 20 | “You’re Not Invited” | Aired Apr 8, 2014
Happy birthday to the littlest Goldberg! Discarding stellar ’80s birthday options such as Chuck E. Cheese, roller-skating and “seeing a wildly inappropriate movie” (example A: Lisa’s emergence from the bathroom in Weird Science ), Adam revels in the thought of the laser tagging that will happen later that evening. Murray puts a damper on the reveling by forgetting Adam’s birthday, yet remembering that Geraldo Rivera will open Al Capone’s vault on TV that night.
Adam and his kinda-sorta girlfriend Dana watch Bob Ross paint trees — “still on an epic quest to get my first kiss,” says narrator Adam. Barry steps in and convinces Adam to forgo his planned laser-tag birthday party and throw a basement make-out party instead. The first rule of basement make-out party: No crunchy foods. Onion dip is OK, but no crunchy foods? “Crunchy isn’t sexy,” says sage Barry. A session of Seven Minutes in Heaven is the ultimate goal.
Pops gives Murray a hard time for not appreciating the importance of his child’s birthday. The look of pure joy Adam gives Pops for gifting him a Pac-Man watch — “It’s a video game on my wrist? I love it!” — makes all that pesky remembering of birthdays worth it. All Murray needs to say now is, “Bah, humbug!”
Adam breaks it to his mom that he doesn’t want laser tag, a cake, a song or her at his party, using his never-fail touch: “Mama.”
Bev obsesses over the birthday party transition. Erica runs interference, but when she realizes it’s a make-out party, she calls “foul” herself. Adam makes an end run by sending his mom on a quest for baking supplies to make him a last-minute Bert and Ernie cake. (Why this requires a football metaphor, I do not know!) Erica threatens to tell their mom exactly what’s going on. Adam blackmails her with knowledge of her past misdeeds.
Meanwhile, Barry’s in the basement trying to empty a large glass jug of milk so that the kids can play Spin the Bottle (after they finish watching Ghostbusters , of course). Murray marches downstairs in his underpants to give Adam his gift of laser-tag gear. Adam thoughtlessly shoos him out (though not wearing pants is grounds for being shooed).
Bev returns from the store to Erica’s pleading for her to go downstairs. Murray and Pops are riveted by Geraldo’s vault coverage, except when Murray is bleating about his gifting fail. Erica is becoming her mom.
Ninja mom breaks into the basement. Adam finally suggests a game of Seven Minutes in Heaven, and when he and Dana finally get down to it in the closet, they discover Beverly, and Dana darts. Adam catches up with her at the door, and she asks why they didn’t just play laser tag like they’d originally planned. Of course!
Adam employs his dad’s gift to salvage the party, and the kids all zap each other with glee.
Murray basks in the warm glow of his son’s appreciation, Pops laments Geraldo’s failure to find any booty in Capone’s vault, Mom’s cake is a big hit and, in the heat of battle, Adam saves Dana and earns that first kiss — and a second.
’80s music watch (in which I note the show’s aural indulgences): The Cure, “Just Like Heaven”
The Goldbergs airs Tuesdays on ABC at 9/8 C.
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<h1 class="headline heading-content margin-8-top margin-16-bottom">000</h1>
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<a class="bold author-name" href="/author/elisabeth-vincentelli/">Elisabeth Vincentelli</a>
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April 14, 2000 at 04:00 AM EDT
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<p>Being the Rolling Stones is a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it. Since the Stones themselves have turned into a joke, we’ll gladly take the Delta 72. Their earlier recordings were inspired by hard-driving ’60s soul, but now with <strong>000</strong> these Philly boys look back to the flamboyantly sweaty boogie Jagger & Co. played at their ’70s peak — and completely rejuvenate it. Though it doesn’t come close to the delirious energy of the band’s shows, <em>000</em> is a shot of put-your-hands-in-the-air party music. <strong>B</strong></p>
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