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Image Credit: Colleen Hayes/NBC

‘Parks and Recreation’: Ode to Leslie’s strangest Ann-jectives

Season 6 | Ep. 16 | “Galentine’s Day” | Aired Mar 20, 2014

When Ann (Rashida Jones) and Chris (Rob Lowe) left Parks and Recreation this season, the only person who took it harder than the fans was Leslie Knope (Amy Poehler). Why? Because Ann was Leslie’s best friend. Her BFF. Her biffle 4 lyfe. Her beautiful, racially ambiguous flower.

When Ann and Chris drove out of Pawnee, it was devastating. We waited for the epic Knope fallout. But it never came. Leslie didn’t have a breakdown without Ann around. In fact, Ann and Chris were barely mentioned in the weeks following their departure. Surely, Leslie was having a harder time dealing with Ann’s move than she let on. There had to be more pain and anguish, bubbling just under the surface, didn’t there?

We almost got the emotional explosion we’ve been waiting for in “Galentine’s Day,” when Leslie used her own made-up girl-centric holiday as an attempt to find a replacement for Ann, after a canceled phone date.

How does one begin to replace a BFF shining star like Ann Perkins? With waffles and a ratings notebook, that’s how. As Leslie quizzes her potential new best friends (who include April, Donna and a ragtag group of Pawnee’s lady misfits) on everything from their favorite TV show to random fun facts about themselves, she realizes that Ann will be almost impossible to replace.

Ready for some real, capital-E emotions from Leslie over Ann’s departure? Keep waiting, because we’re once again spared the fallout of Leslie’s empty-nest syndrome when she receives a call with the real reason Ann missed their phone date: She was in labor. Leslie reacts to the news by becoming The Flash (sorry, CW). OK, not really, but the quick cut from Pawnee to Michigan definitely implies some instantaneous travel. When Leslie arrives to meet little Oliver Perkins Traeger, the reunion is all sweet, no bitter. It’s brief, but Leslie packs in three killer Ann-jectives (her strange, borderline creepy, but ultimately amazing and sweet compliments for Ann).

“You are the most beautiful glowing sun goddess ever,” she says of Ann’s post-labor glow.

“Your ethnic hybrid energy” is something the other women of Pawnee just can’t match, she laments, describing her search for a new in-town BFF.

“You shut your mouth, you have all the strengths,” she snaps at the mere suggestion that Ann herself is not perfect (she is, and we all know it).

As great as these Leslie-isms are, they’re not even close to her best, many of which have been GIF-ified for posterity (thank you, Internet). Leslie might be coping better than expected with Ann’s exit, but I’m not, so let’s GIF it out, for old times’ sake.

And just to prove that Leslie isn’t the only one throwing Ann-jectives around, here’s Ann with a whopper of her own for Leslie (a Knopeliment, perhaps?): “Well, as a wise woman once said to me, ‘Ann, you are a cunning, pliable, chestnut-haired sunfish.”

Leslie and Ann forever.

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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