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'The Goldbergs' recap: Gaga for ‘Goonies’

Season 1 | Ep. 16 | “Goldbergs Never Say Die!” | Aired Mar 4, 2014

Writer-creator Adam F. Goldberg indulges in a love of director Richard Donner’s 1985 film The Goonies in the first episode of The Goldbergs to air after a short winter break.

Young Adam (Sean Giambrone) still sounds like Woody Allen — “Well that’s settled: We’re all dead to each other!” — his mom Beverly (Wendi McLendon-Covey) is still embarrassing and smothering (which is why older Adam narrator, voiced by Patton Oswalt, repeatedly applies that word to her as a noun, as in “Smother read my diary again”). Older siblings Erica and Barry (Hayley Orrantia and Troy Gentile) persist in tormenting the family’s youngest, and their grandfather, Albert ‘Pops’ Solomon (George Segal), continues fighting his descent into dementia (or something like it). Every time family patriarch Murray Goldberg (Jeff Garlin) appears in his underpants, I look away; the running gag of dad doffing his pants at the door may be based in reality, but it’s creepy. Who strips down to tighty-whiteys every day to watch TV and generally interact with the family?  Here’s hoping an upcoming episode forces Murray to come to terms with a pair of sweat pants.

Young Adam embarks on a Goonies-style treasure hunt as part of a prank foisted by his older siblings. He enlists the contributions of a huddle of friends, including Dave Kim of Asian heritage who takes exception at being relegated to the movie’s one Asian character, Data. If you recall the film, however, you know that Data was a pretty spectacular kid.

The joke’s on Erica and Barry when Pops truly misplaces a hoard of their grandmother’s jewels and sets Adam on the case. What started as a Goonies shaming turns to triumph when Adam and his cohorts succeed in finding the treasure and all have a blast participating in the hunt. (Pops had hidden it in an old piano that was put in storage, in case you were wondering.)

Beverly has been hounding Pops all episode about allowing her to be more involved in his finances, as he has become rather lax in their administration. After recovering and returning the stash of jewels, Adam notes to his grandfather that Beverly, at least in this instance, has a point.

Pops reluctantly agrees, apologizes to Bev and turns his budget over to Murray along with a flavored popcorn bribe to sweeten the task and ensure his weekly massages survive the cuts to come. He also refrains from buying the entire waffle house patronage breakfast as he would previously, but compromises by buying everyone in the restaurant a round of Bloody Marys that are, narrator Adam notes, probably more expensive than your average waffle breakfast. Moments like that are what’s special and appealing about The Goldbergs: Despite the family’s boisterousness and the fact that it would require time-travel to the ’80s, I really wish I’d been there for waffles and a Bloody Mary. Sounds delicious!

’80s music watch (in which I note the show’s aural indulgences): Cyndi Lauper, “The Goonies ‘R’ Good Enough”

The Goldbergs airs Tuesdays on ABC at 9/8 C

TV Families | EW.com
Mark Harris
February 23, 1990 AT 05:00 AM EST

The Bradys are back, with a passel of 90’s hassles. Do they represent the typical American Family? Did they ever? Who does? Stare and compare!

Kind Of Family
TheBradyBunch 1969-74: Blended
The Bradys 1990-: Enormous
Married…With Children 1987-: Postnuclear
Thirtysomething 1987-: Extended
The Flintstones 1960-66: Modern Stone Age

Family Pet
The Brady Bunch: Tiger
The Bradys: Alice
Married…With Children: Buck
Thirtysomething: Grendel
The Flintstones: Dino

Typical Guest Star
The Brady Bunch: Davey Jones
The Bradys: There’s no room
Married…With Children: Sam Kinison
Thirtysomething: Carly Simon
The Flintstones: Ann Margrock

Expression Of Joy
The Brady Bunch: Groovy!
The Bradys: Ritual hugging
Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.”
Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you?
The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…”
The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been)
Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!”
Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?”
The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical Problem
The Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen.
The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed.
Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents.
Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer.
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical Solution
The Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens.
The Bradys: Bobby gets married.
Married…With Children: They hate him.
Thirtysomething: If only we knew…
The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

House Style
The Brady Bunch: Conservative but mod, circa ’69
The Bradys: Conservative but mod, circa ’90
Married…With Children: Roach motel
Thirtysomething: Enviable
The Flintstones: Suburban cave

Clothing Style
The Brady Bunch: Early Osmonds
The Bradys: Made in the USA
Married…With Children: Flammable fabrics
Thirtysomething: Eclectic earth tones; nice ties
The Flintstones: One-piece

Most Annoying Character
The Brady Bunch: Alice’s cousin Emma, the substitute housekeeper (too strict)
The Bradys: Marcia’s husband, Wally (chronically unemployable)
Married…With Children: Steve (supercilious)
Thirtysomething: Ellyn (goes through Hope’s drawers, babbles, changes hairstyle every other week, generally mistreats her friends)
The Flintstones: Mr. Slate (bossy)

Attitude Toward Sex
The Brady Bunch: Never heard of it
The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it!
Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No.
Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident.
The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses Fight
The Brady Bunch: They don’t.
The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens
Married…With Children: Tooth and nail
Thirtysomething: They stop talking
The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into Trouble
The Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette.
The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair.
Married…With Children: By committing felonies
Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket.
The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.”
The Bradys ”Next time, ask.”
Married…With Children: By the authorities
Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face.
The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For Fun
The Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon
The Bradys: Has flashbacks
Married…With Children: Exchanges insults
Thirtysomething: Talks
The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved Mysteries
The Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die?
The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair
Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use?
Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other?
The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst Behavior
The Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

The Bradys: Marcia’s son Mickey watches Bobby’s car-crash tape for fun.
Married…With Children: The Bundy’s kill their neighbor’s dog.
Thirtysomething: Elliot has an affair and talks about it.
The Flintstones: Characters don’t wear under-clothes.

Best Reason To Watch
The Brady Bunch: This is what life should be.
The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now!
Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it.
Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life.
The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To Watch
The Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses.
The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now.
Married…With Children: She has a point.
Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real.
The Flintstones: The Simpsons

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